"i never noticed, you're so amazing, fucking amazing!"

im wearing a hoodie! im hot, sticky, and really tired, but im wearing a hoodie! yay for the onslaught of hoodie season! what? i think i have a boyfriend. im not sure, in all honesty, if he IS my boyfriend or not. and its so not one night stand man, chotto embarrassing, but rather a cute mid twenties, style queen. gaaaaa! last night i went and sang karaoke for 3.5 hours, didnt pay a thing (im so not used to that!!), and didnt get to sleep until almost 3am! ii ne!

so, ive been thinking. i really love japan. and its true. i am so at peace here. its silly. and that i dont want to leave. but as i told my mom last night (oh gracious mom who i can pretty much tell anything and is all over everything in my life and i love it!!!) i think i have to be in vancouver for a while, somewhere that's not japan for a while, and live and attempt to figure out if i am really supposed to be here for the long haul. or if its just that japan has made me the person ive always wanted to be. i think it would be a lot easier if i didnt have a psuedo boyfriend who i would marry in a heart beat. who i want to move to canada. someone to teach me japanese. we can open a used-shop on the beach and listen to reggae. and drink grapefruit juice. and stencil t-shirts. fuck. why does this have to happen just before i leave?

"ten minutes to downtown, is ten minutes too far"

little note: for those of you, ie. MOM, that dont want to read about my sexual escapades, then perhaps you shouldnt read the following. but if you want to, highlight away. and yes, im still just as shocked as you are.

im going to keep this to a short description, just b/c i want to keep the details to myself. anyway, late last night a friend called me and invited me to stay, along with his girlfriend, at the imperial suite (as in, the emperor's family has stayed there) in a hotel/spa in kaminoyama. the suite was being rented, for free, by his friend, a stupid wealthy, young, chef/business owner in yamagata. so, we show up, and stop the dropping of our jaws from the insanity that is this IMPERIAL SUITE (i mean, its own fucking onsen), and wealthy-chan sits us down and pours us beer, and asks me,　"diandra, do you have a nickname?" and i said, "di-chan". and from that moment on i knew that he would TRY to have sex with me. and you know what, he did. but, due to his technical difficulties we didnt end up having sex, but all in all, i did have a (safe) one night stand. in the fucking IMPERIAL SUITE and fooled around in our own private ONSEN!! and drank sake that is only made for that RYOKAN! just so fucking SURREAL!

there, not so bad, was it?

"ive got a hunger, twisting my stomach into knots"

my new black hair. oh yes! and the matching black hoodie. someone please buy me the entire good charolette discography quick!


lucy and i sitting outside of the community centre on akayu's high street. we're sweaty and gross b/c it was so hot. but we wowed the men at the shiakshou enkai so much that they called "gorgeous! gorgeous!" to us when we walked in the door. oh, and the buddist monk. what a flirt, i tell you!


looking down karasuma dori at the intersection with shijo. i was waiting for lucy. i hadnt slept at all on my night train (the air con was so cold!) and was miserable, but looking forward to a hot and sweaty day in kyoto.


my first night in kyoto we walked everywhere. this was a bunch of red pottery at a table on the western end of gojo. the whole street was lined with pottery stands. both sides. all of gojo from the river to kiyomizudera. it was pretty cool, ne?

wowza! sashiburi ne! holy fuck! i have to fill in the gaps to make it make sense when i say: "im moving out of my apartment in 11 days. im flying back to canada 12 or so days after that." and b/c ive been stewing on it alot, and the last week has been fucking horrible, up until about yesterday (there were some good things within said horrible week that were fabulous). so, yeah, i quit my job. and b/c its so close to when im coming back to canada, i decided to throw the gas in the fire and actually come home early. the nausea has worn off some what. i think that i feel like im going to vomit more of the time not so much b/c i am anticipating horrible things to happen to me (as they would be if we would consider my employment situation), but rather due to lack of sleep, lack of proper diet (i ate lunch today! yatta! first time this week!), or the fact that i have HONESTLY found my soul mate here, and he just doesnt know it and its DRIVING ME UP THE WALL! anyway.

where does that leave me. im currently thinking about packing, and will start in two days (i have a group date tonight and then im going to the ocean tomorrow! so exciting), and buying the last of my omiyage, and fitting EVERYTHING that i had planned to do with people here into the next three weeks. which, is a little difficult. last night martin and i booked our ryokan stay (all night hot tubbing, dinner and breakfast in our room, walking around in a house coat, sleeping, reading books, all for the low price of 14,000yen! yatta!), and well, i have plans up the wazzoooo and cant really handle it. i will be sleep deprived and cranky, and bawl in the airport. but at the same time i can wait to come home! fuck.

okay, so, the plan was that i would move back to terrace. but then my lovely uncle just put and email into my box, saying his company has a position coming up, and that i have a very good chance of getting it. i hate that everything is up in the air. but, a full time job, making sweet cash, on pender and thurlow. sign me the fuck up yo!

wow, that was a lot of information probably for those who know me rather than the regular reader? so, to close it off, a little story: on thursday night when i told my friends marie and hiromi that i was leaving so soon and had quit my job, hiromi, who has very little english said, "i hope you come back to japan. you seem to be at peace here, and that this is the place for you. please come back some day." and you know what? he's right.

xoxo di-train.

i cant believe that im only in kyoto for three days and presently im sitting, at a computer, in the campus plaza kyoto, checking my email, HALF WAY THROUGH. i have yet to go see a temple on purpose. everywhere you turn there is a fucking temple and its pretty funny. highlight so far have been eating falafels, brownies, and fresh-ginger tea. walking about 10 kilometres. almost catching the subway to osaka. (haha. wouldnt that have been gold?) going to a pottery festival in eastern kyoto. eating takoyaki. eating more kakigori (ice shavings with sauce). staying up until 2am with lucy giggling about boys and how to find them. crushes ive had in university (aka. my crush affair with gillian eugene. p.s. if you know her, i need to catch up with her when i get back. ga!) dying my hair black. going to starbucks. buying a new black hoodie. (what? goth is IN punks!) and now im about to get on the bus to go see two temples. and then probably wanderback to lucy's. clean her flat a bit. and walk up to the nishiki market. buy some omiyage. and tonight its purikura madness. woot! xoxo.

"i am the sailor and you are the warm gulf wind"

my dad vs. shames mountain.

"when i was a child i caught a fever"

yonezawa no hanabi matsuri des. it rained so hard! yuck!

its been a while.

im really really poor and cannot stop spending money. going somewhere to use the internet. buying ice cream. as of right now i have no money. my credit card pin isnt working. im going to tokyo in a week, and hm. interesting, no? there is always a way through it though. bah. today it ws thirty seven degrees outside. on tuesday i came home and there was a fucking massive praying mantis next to my door. ive never seen a praying mantis. i hear that they dont actually like eating humans. but could be a worthwhile friend. as for the fucking cicada that attacked me. im happy you fell on your back. but not too happy, i mean, i dont want you to gather your posse and come after me. then, really, you'd give me a reason to hate you. fuckers. some jets have left, and new ones came. ive met half of the newbies. cuties. all of them. good times ahead. my dad thought i was moving back to terrace. and im not. so he might not come down and meet me in vancouver anymore. which is sort of a bummer. and ill just have to try and see him at christmas..... im not feeling lonely anymore. even g-mart said that im not so huggy anymore. im not even that excited to keep looking for someone to share my bed on hot mornings. or to eat the rest of the batches of pancakes. (i mean, i wouldnt say "no" if the opportunity arose). my blinding crush didnt work out. and i feel exhausted. ive been distracting myself with horrible horrible books (like "trading up" by candace bushnell. michael patrick king so made sex and the city!). last night we watched love actually. dont slay me amanda, but i fucking love that movie, actually, ive got a horrible addiction to hugh grant that must be stayed! today i had incredible gelato. im so brown right now. yesterday we played tennis in the terrible heat. and ate yaki niku. and drank beer and had a wonderful time. my arms are this beautiful brown, and my face is just dark. i have cut my hair again. and perhaps will save the black dye fiesta until i get to kyoto. this not being pale shit could be addictive. i need to work on art more. that is my new mantra. today i was thinking about that i dont want to be skinny, but that i want to be fit. i want to be really into a sport and something athletic (like yoga or pilates or tennis, hard core, and get really buff for it....) i feel so pathetic saying that though. bizarre. today i noticed i had curves again. not just a big lump. oh yes. fuck, im dehydrated. love.