i'm at school today. an office mate picked me up super early and we brought my wingback and a modernist chair, and some plants, and little desk shelf (yay!) up to campus. our office has been reorganized to have a sitting area for reading, etc and our desks are all cozy. i have my iris right in front of the window and a ledge for all mof my coffee mugs. i'm feeling more at home here. i actually even made a to-do list. i've completed one item. a few more to go. well, more than a few. i'm starving. i should eat, but probably wont be able to until after my first class. off to research for my paper on cyborg babies. xo.

and so it goes..so it goes...

i'm the most anxious person ever. well, maybe not. but i bought a bottle of valerian today and i'm hiding myself away in my school work. we found a place and it is incredible! it's important to remember that the crises that happen in my life do not need to take over everything. i exist beyond the crisis. i exist.

sometimes i'm gonna lose my mind...

well, the slog of shitty things happening over the last few weeks is starting to just manifest itself into day to day activity. which may be nice, but i'm super anxious. every night for the last week i've had dreams where i'm just overwhelmed with anxiety. a few of them were me not being able to pay for my wedding and being there on my wedding day all stressed out. and really, i don't know how i'm going to pay for the wedding. somehow i guess. money ALWAYS works out. and then i'm super stressed out about being asked to leave my place and thus finding somewhere to live. i've called a few apartments but they're just in the middle of nowhere or really in the hood. one took my name down and will call (?), but i guess i just have to start calling on october 2nd. why is it so hard to find somewhere to live in prince george? this is ridiculous! i went to a counsellor yesterday which was good. we did an intake and if the practicum student wasn't in the room i probably would have bawled my eyes out. but i felt akward because there's this person in the room "observing" but you're unable to form any sort of connection with them. the "main counsellor" lady said a few times, "i'm so impressed with your ability to just deal with what's happening in your life and keep going in such a positive manner". and it's cheezy, but why can't i just accept that i'm working really hard and that balancing all of this work (5 jobs now!!) and yet still surviving through a life where important people just fucking fail you. but, not ALL of the important people. hey, stewart just showed up! i'm going for lunch!!

task #26. yoga. once a week. 10 weeks straight!

well, i started going to yoga again and my body is fucking killing right now. it's mondays and thursdays and *maybe* on saturdays too! as long as my goal is once a week minimum, i think that's doing allright. 10 weeks is up to the week of november 20th. i can do it! we're getting more in the mindset of moving (!!) and are seriously loving the idea of apartment living, even if it means rupert has to stay inside all the time (we should get him a harness and a loooooooooooooooooooooong leash). stewart's finishing up the last 30 or so pages of harry potter, book seven. and i just finished watching year of the dog. we rented roadkill, but i just can't get into it enough to finish it. i made the best fucking stove top popcorn ever, yes! and we had a slurpee. i think i'm getting caveties. is that how you spell it? i should really do something about it. i'm exhausted. bed time.

but i said, no no no

last night we went and had a stag party at strike zone! then after that everyone came over to our house and pretty much continued to get wasted. we played drinking games (fun!). broke a blender (sucks!). ordered pizza (yum!). and really, i'm quite hungover. stewart threw up a number of times and i just slept it off. but woke up dehydrated. so i had a bath, reading lady chatterly's lover, and have just made a cabbage/somen salad and am working on vegan chili for dinner. i have to head to work in a very short while (i don't want to), but have to b/c i need money! i definitely have a love hate relationship with the material world.

lately i've been feeling like the world has been falling in over me. and i think part of this process is learning to be tougher and to not rely on my crazy emotionality to get me through things. i'm also quite surprised the i just haven't given up. i guess that dealing with the fucking white squal is part of being an adult. why do people around me fail me? am i not worth awesome people? why do i let a few people's fucking up ruin it completely. i have to remember how many awesome people are around me. i have to remember that. aaaaaaaaaaaaah, i have to go to work. i'm losing my mind.

bitch cunt bitch cunt bitch cunt

our roommate has asked us to move out. she even said that she was sorry that we had to be the first that she is malicious to. november 1st. a new home. again. mother fucking fucking cunt face. grrrrrrrr.

i love it

In the best of terrace 2007...

39) Best place to check out art

“Local coffee shops.” “Jesse McCloskey’s house.” “Ferry Island! The tree carvings are awesome and so much fun to try and find.”

1 - Terrace Art Gallery

2 - Artful Cup

3 - Cafenara


i'd say, could that be the confederation nation?

this is what getting married looks like...

the cousins. all together. (only three of us are married in)


stewart's mom got a picture of stewart on the wedding morning. i knew she was coming and hid :)


almost married...


still almost married.

yeah, it must look something like this? i've been in a car longer than i've been in grad school. my neck hurts. i drank from 10am-->on yesterday. wine. mostly white. the tinhorn guwertz was my favourite of the weekend. oh! and the sumac ridge black sage chardonnay. i'm excited to jump into the $30 bottles of vino we acquired. and just bathe in them. oivey. best parts of the weekend included: my dress catching on fire, stewart's hicup during the ceremony, going to walmart, and shopping in the okanagan countryside for rasberries. oh and the cheesecake. yum.