where i've been: a photo essay

it's really beautiful outside. well, it's kind of grey. but it's no longer winter. so i'm happy. and my baby basil's are growing. i like that as i get older my ability to keep plants alive is working. too bad we only have two windows of appropriate light! i don't think i'd ever be a hippy with tonnes of plants. but i like the few i have.



the three big ones in this picture are actually remaining ones from our wedding. it's nice to see them survive a dastardly winter and emerge somewhat weathered but considerably bigger.



and to boot i saw this really great gardening project for outside! it'll be dogeared to next summer, definitely. but super easy and cool. i love readymade!



and, as you know, i've been knitting a lot for myself lately! these are socks of kindness that i am knitting up with misti alpaca. so soft, i can barely handle it. i just stop and stare at them as they grow.



i think the onset of socks means that i'm travelling a lot! i have all next week to knit these socks! ha! stewart's going to be without me for 8 days or something. pout pout. i like going places and seeing people (derek! jen! my family! kalin!) and shows (crystal castles! wut wut!) and doing work. but i really just want to hang out at home for a while. i should force myself to have a staycation soon.



lastly, i've begun to knit myself up a hanami shawl. it's with some beautiful buttercream from yarnchef. who is definitely my hero.

i'm excited too because some sock yarn is coming my way to make the ribbon scarf too! off to work on the shawl and get some other work done! yay! tonight=SEX AND THE CITY MOVIE BOOOYAAAAH!!!!

yay! updates!

the store is going to be updated today. i have a handful of handdyed yarn to throw up, some bags, and some scarves. i have a bunch of clothes to post soon too! but no boy model here. so, it must wait until i get home.

blim craft fair yesterday was not very monetarily awesome. i sold very few things. and i didn't even learn anything about how to do it more successfully next time. but i met some cool people and got a sunburn. yes.

and then last night friends and i went out for marble slab icecream *yum* and sat on the beach (until we were cleared away by this helicopter with this huge spotlight. so not nice!). previously ate tsunami sushi. not very good. actually kind of disappointing.

i'm having lunch with an old friend today. i'm excited. and getting a manicure. and trying to do work. trying.

xo

crafternoon: feels like dancing is the way to go

i've decided i need to take a break. i just have to email my supervisor. i'm not sure why i was rushing to get my MA finished. i'm just going to take the time i need to instead of hurrying along in classic academic style. and being puzzled by this has kind of kept me "down". i haven't had much motivation to do anything and feel super overwhelmed by everything. i mean, my laundry has been in a basket in my living room for a month. i just shop for my morning clothes there. at least i got all the winter clothes away. but, i feel like i'm back on track.



my kitchen smells like kool aid and is steamy. my hands are all clammy from all the hot water too. i think yarn dying is my new friend. it's sooooo satisfying it's unbelievable. and the kool aid makes me really thirsty for sugary punch, hot days, and water fights.



i knit these socks too! well, i'm just past the heel on the first one. it's a stashbuster sock. it pooled all weird and red/blue in the middle and i don't really like it, but i think that's just the way it is. i also love this 6-ply sock yarn from ONline! so quick to knit!



and then earlier today a. and i got together and painted shoes we got at (gasp) wal-mart for $5 with neon fabric paints, sharpies, and i pulled out some glue and buttons (which i got from schoollocker. i think im going to wait for stewart to get home and be a dutiful wife (sarcasm please!) and make him dinner and give him tonnes of attention because he picked up a really long shift at work today and i'm sure it was stressful. i mean, starbucks drivethrough? i wouldn't be able to handle it.

ooh, do you like woodhands?

i'm just waiting for the future to swallow me whole

stewart's got this emo-punk-hardcore (emocore?) cd playing (from first to last) and it's actually where i am at this moment. so strange!

i'm currently really sick of school and am super unmotivated to even begin on putting my zine-thesis together. academica makes me want to just drink a big bottle of potion to put me ahead a year or so and wake up miraculously with a completed MA. i'm toying with taking more time and defending after i move, even early next year, so i can still graduate in may 2009 (that's when i'd graduate regardless of when i defend or finish). so i have to think about it over the next few days. i'm just so burned out! i want to climb into a vat of handdyed superwash and knit myself out.

today i bought a digital camera, and it's okay. it's a sony cybershot. now i can finally begin to update my store. yay!

i'm looking forward to this coming saturday where i will be at the blim spring market! (17@main in vancouver!!). it's from 12-5pm on the 24th and there will be so many great and wonderful crafters there! can't wait to see you then!! come by and say hi! i'm making so many fun things like hand dyed heart yarns (with bling!) and these scarves you see above. and some more clothes (mens and plus size women's!), craft supplies, housewares, and the infamous organic coffee body scrub. i'm very excited! i'll be trying to show a picture every day this week of what's coming on saturday! all leftovers will be on the online store too! so watch for that next sunday!

xo

i chose to walk away to keep my brain

i'm getting things done. i just dyed a bunch of yarn for the upcoming craft fair at Blim! and have all my other non-craft work laid out around me. i had a bit of a slow start but am feeling more motivated as it passes noon!

tonight me and some gals are going to see made of honor. oh, mcdreamy! how mcdreamy you are!

i wish i had more to say, but i really just wanted to show off my new shoes: love! xoxo

we stay together out of fear

googling "academia sucks" in images got me, well, porn. and really? if only it were that easy. the funny thing is that while an MA in anything is supposed to make you want to continue on with schooling or to be an academic, it has done the complete opposite for me. i am beginning to hate the ivory tower with a passion and also beginning to loathe my time there. it could be so rewarding, but i think that the "traditional" academic sense is lost on me. for me, the weird thing is that i believe that "being professional" is important in certain senses, but i've just had some incredible run-ins lately with academics that, and i know this may seem passive aggressive because i want to be a little allusionary, have been the epitome of the reasons that i don't want to be here (in university). i have also had a serious run around in many different ways from the grad office at unbc. my department specifically has been amazing, but it's funny when you don't follow the line everything else on it doesn't really have meaning or importance or even simple recognition. the other weird thing for me is that i want to work in some official capacity, or professional capacity, because that's where the money is. money to pay the bills. but it's really in my stars to open my own store. i'm much better in this non-academic capacity. i can't change hundreds of years of legitimacy-based academic inquiry, nor patriarchy, and "the man". i'm tired. this fighting and activism thing is a lot of work.

on another note, i'm knitting these anastasia socks, but had to restart from some misti alpaca to some knitty dirty girl. she makes the nicest sock yarns. well, she dyes them in beautiful colours. and excellent colourways. and it's just so soft after the wash. i love you rachel-marie!

my mathematical mind can see the breaks

this has been a teenage weekend. definitely. friday night included bubble tea (where a bunch of teenagers were hanging out) and cheese fondue with c. it was so nice! and bubble tea is the fruit of my life. i was into the peach slush for a while but it's so sweet! the other night i broke out into honey sweetened green tea, which was so refreshing and light! not like a sugar slam in the face at all.

saturday included sleeping in and getting a blackberry (!!) which i've slowly figured out. it's syncing with the computer we have xp on, but not with my mac, yet. i have to get missing sync or pocket mac or something. but i don't want to fudge with that now. i also need a memory card for it. bleck bleck bleck. i hate the consumer world. but needed it for work and shit. yuck.

last night we went to the fair and it was actually fun! i rode one ride and all i could think of was that the shitty 2 inch latch would give and we'd go flying to the ground. ha! stewart rode a few more, but really all we did was eat sugar. sugar sugar sugar.

i've been motivated to get shit done lately, but that's barely happening because i have too much shit to do.

punk is dead, but misogyny isn't

last night i went to see gob and sick city at the rum jungle. obviously prince george is high rollin'. and up on the wall behind their merch table sick city had this poster. the lead singer even went so far as to say that "if you're with child you're going to have a miscarriage this is going to be so loud". i mean, do you need to be so obvious with your hate for women? i'm surprised they gave me the poster not even thinking it could be offensive or that it wouldn't be a "good" idea to give it to me.

other than the awfulness of this, the "pit" was gross. 19 year old boys pulling out their machismo, sick city's bassist un-ironically humping his bass (it makes him so much cooler!!), some dude from the radio saying "fuck" every second word during the intro, and GOB being too cool to have beer poured on them by people in the crowd. my friend also said that all these men were trying to talk her up and were in "hunting" mode.

really, punk rock must be dead. misogyny and the celebration of machismo culture in punk rock is still rife (remember: dc hardcore knowing they were teaching grrrls like shit and not doing anything about it...hence the birth of riot grrrrrrrl) and another reason not to participate in that culture. but i'm here. it's strange to watch these counter-cultured white kids be so marginalized by their cohorts and "friends" and peers. right now: fuck punk. fuck it.

i'm gonna get free this time

i went camping. i hate camping. sure, we were in bunks, but the environment stinks (couldn't drink tap water, sand, etc). but i'm happy i sacrificed eyeliner and my bed and my cats and my man to go to val de bois, qc (north of gatineau). where i literally hung out with the coolest women and feminists i've ever met! these women are mobilizing their communities around gendered issues and working in creative capacities straight across the board. these women are so inspiring for me and it just makes me cry that they exist out there in my world! we had so many connections through other friends and communities and we own campus radio and crafting worlds and our voices. it was incredible.

i'm home to the onslaught of student loans. they're here! i can finally buy groceries and good cat food and new face wash. and pay my bills. i feel like i will survive now!

i need to work, calls, etc. hope you're all well. xoxo