"and now i'm lost at sea, i'm drowing in what I wont be"

stewart's got this "punk" comp on. very emo. so cute. i remember when i felt that my life experience really resonated with these sorts of lyrics. now, hm.

i have an enormous amount of homework to do over the next few days. i need to compile an annotated bibliography on my thesis topic. and in all honesty i havent put alot of work into it, like i should have been. oh well.

yay for organic chicken strips and fries (oh and cheesy portraits from walmart. woot!)

oh, and yay for yellow and orange leaves and long emails from moms. that's nice. ooh, and canned salmon from friends, and coffee in the mail, and cards from friends, and a bust mag, and new friends! cheers to new friends.

"im listening to the mountainous sound..."

its raining out and ive got a cold. ive decided to stay in tonight. money, really. and stewart's at work. and there's just stuff to be done around the house. i've got our old-style radio plugged in and working in the kitchen. i'm downloading some nada surf and some of the national. im doing my readings for school (the fourth world by grace ouellet). i'm putting up curtains. and im washing dishes. and i think im going to go to bed. nappy nappy.

i received a call from this gym. i entered to win a pass, and well, i did! so, i'm going tomorrow at 4p to meet up and pick my prize! so fun!!! ive be en feeling sluggish lately and it doesnt help that im sitting at a desk all day and ridiculously exhausted. we've started eating cheese again (i had it for the first time at caitlin's in a long while and now i'm hooked). and its raining. i really want to go for a bike ride but im so tired. bleck! at school on tuesday we went to a different classroom and, well, there's these mirrors in the bathroom near the classroom that if you stand right where they break they cut your body in half and i looked so tiny. it was really neat to see. not sad b/c i dont look like that, but neat, b/c if i shaped up and dealt with this issue that ive been carring around (both physically and emotionally), then maybe i'd look like that. weird.

ive been carrying around a lot of negative emotional baggage lately and its really taking its toll on stewart and i really need to get on that list of "emotional healing items" that i've created. but again, tired. micro steps. i'm doing readings and working through a lot of it, and it helps so much, i need to do them more.

i had a dream that someone broke into our house, and it turned into an amicable situation. hm.

biting my nails. waiting to hear about my masters. a month or two to go.

i told this guy from my class that i wasnt a writer. i mean, hmmm. maybe i should embrace it b/c currently my goals are to write books. must begin this webdesign thing. this to do list is nuts.

music right now is:

The Bunker - Beirut from Gulag Orkestar
What It Means - Mates Of State from Bring It Back
Family Trew - Ben Kweller from Sha Sha
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea - Neutral Milk Hotel from In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
Off the Record - My Morning Jacket from Z
A Time For Emily - The Elected from Me First
Magic Trick - M. Ward from Post-War
What Is Your Secret? - Nada Surf from The Weight Is A Gift
Retreat! - Cursive from Happy Hollow
She's a Rejector - Of Montreal from Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?
Let's Go To Bed - The Cure from Greatest Hits
Dig Your Grave - Modest Mouse from Good News For People Who Love Bad News
Lucky Number Nine - The Moldy Peaches from Greatest Hits
Pot Kettle Black - Wilco from Yankee Hotel Foxtrot
Rivalry - Figurines from Skeleton
An Animated Description of Mr. Maps - The Books from Lost and Safe
The CN Tower Belongs to the Dead - Final Fantasy from Has a Good Home
Ecology - Anni Rossi from Scandia
Faded From The Winter - Iron And Wine from The Creek Drank The Cradle
Post-War - M. Ward from Post-War

oh, and all of the wink's "birthday party". (what a great, cute show!)

"she fell in love with the drummer..."

so, i'm in the land of no camera. maybe we should create a fund! you know. a fund so that I can buy a camera? what do you say? anyone wanna send me a toonie?

today i sat at my desk from 9am to 4:30pm minus a few pee breaks. i didnt make it on a lunch break. nor did i make it up to the university to run errands or anything!!! i told them i was coming in late tomorrow. and that i'd go do the errands before i came in. yay for sleeping in 'till 8:30pm!

we went to the library. and took out 5 cds. i think we got sweatshop union, yankee hotel foxtrot, the streets, new order, and some other emo band that stewart likes. good stuff. he's cooking up some veggie burgers and yam fries right now and we're sucking back hot chocolates and mellowing out to wilco. and its incredible. we were out of bread (!!! oh no !!!) and i needed to go to the store (i mean, we need something to squish over our garden patties!!) so, its raining outside and kindof cold so i hopped on my bicycle, yay!, and biked the two and a half little blocks over to the seven eleven. and i got wonder bread! brown of course! but but but! yay for prince george! the convenie had san pellegrino! and it will be yummy oh yeah.

tomorrow, or friday, depending on my stress level. i'm applying for my master's in gender studies!! wish me luck!

(see, not so sad today!) xoxo.

sad sunday.

my mum just left town. what a whirlwind. her visit wasnt as great as i wanted it to be, which was entirely my fault. we're sitting in unbc's library right now. and its almost two. im moving over to a comfy chair to do some reading for tuesday's class. just checked my work email. CRAZY!! so busy. oivey. i need to cheer up. buttercup.
xoxo.

tired friday.

stewart says that i always say that i am tired. and its true. i was just sitting here at my desk organizing the roladex (ie. putting three of them onto one spool) and i put some miso pretty hand cream on and realized that my hands are sore. so i immediately whipped out the phone book and made myself an appointment for a massage. tonight i'm hopefully going to work out. tomorrow i have to work. the mundanities of my life.

ive been feeling very overwhelmed lately and its taking its toll on stewart. im stressed for a variety of reasons: moving to a new town, switching jobs, having tremendous workloads at both, being poor, not having a day off inbetween my switch, a partner with no money until he gets paid, my mum is here, which is nice, but its stressful having someone else around, a car that im worried will fall apart, etc. i need to work on not letting these things have a negative impact on me. i need to breathe. breathe. sleep. take a walk. drink some tea. and do my readings.[the cement truck just outside the window just let out the biggest puff of dark smoke].

quickie. geekie. speakie.

happy belated birthday to me!

well, it was pretty uneventful. i worked. finally am wrapping my head around the university structure. wrapping my head around being a personal assistant to a very busy woman. i did some reading for school (thank heavens i'm doing third wave feminism. ive never loved my reading this much before! i mean the stuff on canadian modernism was quite exciting, but reading an article about bikini kill. man, this is nice). i let rupert outside for the first time. and of course he came back. a bunch of people called, wrote, emailed, happy birthdays, which was really nice (thank you!!!). and we went to spicy greens. which was empty. no one there! and ate yummy singaporean food and tiger beer and got really full. then i dumped a bit of money at value village. overall a pretty good day.

its been hot here the past few days. some coworkers got blackberries. i hope mines on its way one day here. technologie. gaaaaaaa! xoxo.