on farming (well, wanting to)

dreaming of farm country

i feel like right now i'm starting the transition to be a farmer. my mind is changing, my priorities are changing, the things i'm thinking about are changing and becoming new and wonderful. my sister, brie, and are doing this farm survey we made for each other. i emailed them my answers last night. some questions included:

how would you like to organize/run our farm?
how do we nourish the land and soil in a sustainable way in the long term?
what do we do if someone doesn't want to farm anymore?
what is our money maker?
who do we want to work with in the community?
where do you want the farm to be?

i'm dying for their answers back. but need to do the personal switch for myself. which will include holing up a bit more, doing more reading, working on home projects as practice for the "real thing". being a farmer and "farming" isn't something that i will do in the future, but something i need to start doing right now. build my practice and mental body of knowledge. which sadly will mean priority changes. (aka no more RDAC and no more derby, in general). Which means I've got to give this year and next season all that I have and enjoy the fuck out of it. it also means i need to get better and more disciplined at working out at home. I will also need to find a better way to get out of a M-F situation with my job. I love my job and the work I get to do, but being chained at my desk isn't working for me right now or long term (esp. since I'm here until Jan 2015). It also means that I need to stop traveling, stop spending money, and start saving (I'm still giving myself the luxury of tattoos) for a down payment or whatever I'll need (and start fixing my credit rating). I will also need to increase my income short term, support my mans in going to school so he can also then up his income, and figure out this whole home school thing for my kid. my panic about not knowing what i'm doing with my life in April is still there a little, but I feel stable because I have reminded myself that I know what I'm doing with my life, and I just need to fucking do it.