winter wonderland

merry belated xmas. i'm busy. surprise! i need to go show someone how to keep knitting and then go pick up the sushi.

it's cold, but beautiful here. more soon.

awe, shucks. (an ode to exhaustion).

it's late but i still feel on the go. last night i was in victoria. i am so happy that i got to catch up (albeit so shortly) with four people and eat room service and get a slurpee on the fly.

i spent my entire day cranky and somewhat on the edge of tears. i had a "presentation" with the leadership team of mcfd, when i thought it was going to be a meeting. i understand their reason for excluding us (and we got to hang out as a team and bond, even if we did dissent), but i left feeling quite tokenized and politicized. some things i heard were, "i hope you didn't spend all your money", "don't worry, the kids are here", "there's some colouring", "oh you knit! you're so smart!", and (not directed at me), "are you a kid in care". i find it so weird that i am tokenized as a "youth" just because i do youth related work. i feel very much like an adult in these settings and i feel that i dont get the work done in these "youth" environments that i want to. my struggle is balancing the professional me (who has an education and skillez) and the youthful me who wears jeans, vans, a grandpa cardigan, and a barstar shirt to a meeting with the ministry of children and families. where is the inbetween?

wishing and hoping.

today was so stressful for some reason. i'm at the point of blaming the fact i'm back on hormones (birthcontrol). i cry every day now, and i had a meltdown when i should have been eating a grilled cheese with soup (for lunch). i ate leftover cake from the birthday party last night and had a scone and an americano and just am going to get off my butt and make the biggest pot of the soul warming miso with everything in it. i spent my entire day (other than crying) tidying a little and knitting this hat. it's my third complete hat, ever.

the weather outside is frightful...

well, into the depths of winter we are! i can feel the holidays all around us and it's exciting. i'm whipping up the last of the knitting projects (well, the first, er....) and am currently knitting a pair of socks, leg warmers, a toque, and have possibly been commissioned for a whole swack of stuff. and i have to make pj pants this weekend for a swap! today we went to the bay and i bought these shoes. yay for sales! and stacked heels! i can't wait to take them into the city for my 6 hour meeting and my double flight day (yuck). other than knitting, i havent been doing much. maybe reading a bit? hm. spending money? worse. back to knitting: i learned how to knit a gusset and turn a heel, which is SO advanced in my book. i'm so happy about it! we got some xmas packages today and they had lights in them so we've put our tree up. it just needs decorations. i'm going crazy. must go to bed.

completely obsessed

i'm totally obsessed with gossip girl. my favourite is tracking the love obsessions between rufus and lily. and their children are in love? messy situation i dare say. i'm getting close to my ravelry invite. it should only be like one or two days now. i've begun to take pictures of my stash. i've also begun to decompress. i reorganized the bedroom this morning and now have a big pile of books next to the bed, and i've been knitting dish cloths and i'm working on a pair of commissioned leg warmers. i think this is turning into a knitting blog. yeep!

as you wish...

i'm done school for the semester, though i did shittily i might add. fuck. i hate it when i do a bad rush job. i'm burned out right now. burned out.

good morning starshine!

i am writing and working steadily. with knitting breaks and movie breaks and cuddle breaks and now a work break. yuck.

i got readymade today. and i'm psyched! woot!

Task Updates + New fuzzy things!

we had a craft fair over the last two days and i made something like almost $300. which is pretty insane. and awesome. we ordered pizza and rented a (lame) movie. and now i'm actually going to go do homework.

i am in no mood to do homework.

task updates:

34. get pregnant

not pregnant now and not trying either. i'm actually going BACK on the hormones for the first time in like, six years. sheesh. so maybe this shouldn't be italicized? but well, totally thinking about it and actually picking the time when we'll try. wow!

39. buy something online from lush

i'm striking this one b/c lush is opening here and there would be no need to buy it online now. i did just buy their charity cream. so nice and creamy! yum!


70. be interviewed on cbc radio one.

you better listen monday morning at quarter after 8am, i think. dammit, you should be listening to daybreak north anyway. haha.

what can feminists learn from seminal fluid in the text crash?

i'm not sure. good question. this is me trying to do my homework. i did a tonne of reading and got an outline/pseudo thesis down. i even tried knitting and frogged it. so i just took pictures of me and read the new bust with beth ditto on the cover. hubba hubba. she says, "this is the number-one thing: just because something makes you look thinner, that doesn't mean its a good outfit That is the key in life for fat girls." go beth!
oh, and m. i made us a purikura.

because i was asked to...

today i cut the tip of my finger off when i was chopping kale for the curry. it bled and bled and was/is so painful. but the bleeding stopped after an hour and i'm somewhat mobile, though i should sit this finger out. the curry was incredible and friends brought tarts, cheesecake, spring rolls, and we ended up watching ghost world and i knat and we talked about boys.

i need to buckle down and do homework.

stat.

i'll post it in five days when it's done and due!

"and all you see, is where else you could be when you're at home..."

i think i've used this lyric before, as a title. but i really like it. and it's totally where i'm at right now. i'm having more low days than up days, but i'm trucking a head and i should really move away from my knitting needles and move away from this computer (and scrabulous!) and move towards my texts. i'm having one of those days where things solidify for you. the things that solidified for me today are that i want a child. soon. i always said that by the time i was 26 i'd be pregnant. (i know most haven't heard this, but it's been my personal goal). so, in a weird way i've decided to go back on the hormones that encourage your body not to get pregnant (first time in, what, a number of years). getting preggo right now may be what i want in a part of me but finishing my MA gets to be more important, honestly. so, put it off for about 6-7 more months. yes.

today i also realized that the pornography class that i'm in is, well, not for me. sitting through it today was a struggle and i felt that i was put on the spot and then degraded for being "in the spotlight". i do not know what is wrong for reducing a text that plays with a variety of literary structures and histories i have no academic access to, to a piece of pulp. anyway, long story. i really dont want to go back to the classroom. but it's show and tell next week and i want to show the ))<>(( part of me and you and everyone we know. nice.

something else that triggered me is that we as a society, as "women" are so stigmatized for putting our vaginas in the air for a medical test. there is so much anxiety and self-image issues around getting your pap that the issue becomes more about the doctor seeing you naked, having a smelly vag, or looking funny "down there". when in fact shouldn't the anxiety come out of the reality that these "mandatory"/"recommended" tests are to screen for cancer and that maybe we should be more anxious because this little vagina in the air situation could mean that we have CANCER?

i'm on the miranda july newsletter list and last night i got this email (shortened):


hello,

for those of you who are american, you now have a holiday. there may be times during this holiday where you feel a) not as happy as you had planned on feeling, b) like ripping someone's head off, or c) fat.

this is because it is a holiday celebrating genocide.

so true. ah. i love it.

we know everything was built to inspire so i guess we've done everything.

today is not the day i start my post with, "I'm exhausted"; though, i almost did. i am a bunch of other things like overwhelmed, all consuming, eating macaroons, controllably (but unhappily) in financial poverty, blah blah blah. right now rupert's sitting on my lap, which he's been doing a lot of since i got home, and slowly kneading his claws into my thigh. it's kind of endearing. vancouver was really good for me at this time. i didn't get any prince george work done and i didn't sleep very much but i was able to connect with a whole slew of friends and not go shopping too much and to also participate well and feel good about my role with the yac. last night kalin and i walked through downtown vancouver in search of hairdye and while it was a physical push (so tired!) and so late at night (11pm!!) i managed to find good dye and have a chat w/ a kid at the shoppers drug mart in the westend about prince george and then chat w/ kalin about a tonne of great things. she's shown me a bunch of great crafting things and i'm going to start to learn how to crochet. but today, didn't go so well. it'll take me a few hours of steady dedication.

i think the tooth brush is beconning me, as is my bed and my homework.

i'm not your second, i'm notchyour third.

tonight i made a curry. it's part of the winter ization of my self and my little home. there's spinach, cauliflower, tofu, yams, onions, and chantrelle mushrooms. it was super spicy. we ate it with yoghurt, rice, corn bread, and indian spicy pickles. and then watched good night and good luck and i continued to knit. i've been knitting a lot this weekend. i just started making knitted wash cloths. yay for xmas!


the boots. my three boots. i love boots. i never had cute boots until last spring or fall or something. now i'm addicted. get me boots! so, yes, task #86. actually buy winter boots and use them is accomplished.


this is my craft area. it's super crammed, but definitely coming along and i enjoy that space.

i have had the opportunity to get closer to some people over the weekend. i've cuddled. i've gotten drunk and smoked cigarettes and shared secrets. and i've knitted! knitting brings the girls together! i'm into my winter music mood and i think my radio show is changing style! just for the winter.

task #11. attend an academic conference out of country and task #80. meet melissa of "girl of the north country"

i'm applying for a graduate gender studies conference in austin texas next april. i'm going to go to nashville too meet the love of my life, melissa.

i'm exhausted. i just can't sleep. it's christmas! well, not really, but soon! starbucks started their xmas roll out and i'm so excited!! yummers! i know it's crazy, but starbucks roll out for me is very xmas time oriented. i'm in a knitting frenzy. i bought some noro yarn for a knitting with some friends and it's beautiful!! i know i'm just recounting my days, but tomorrow we're having our housewarming/winetasting and i'm so excited! i can't believe it's already almost 11pm. that's disgusting. off to knit and watch a movie! yay!

task update: 19 + + +

it's midnight, PST, still summer time. in two hours pretty much the entirety of north america will sleepingly celebrate the addition of one hour to their nightly rest. last night we were up late drinking lovely drinks, listening to jazz, and playing group games. it was nice to have a get together. i feel like i'm recounting my last 24 hours. ha ha.

it's snowing and i'm feeling positively snowed in. i'm getting into the xmas spirit (i love xmas!) and am knitting like mad. but, i thought i could learn to crochet, but NO! it looked like poo. so, i have to figure out the one crochet project i want to do that inspires me to take up this horrible craft i have no pleasure for. i just LOVE knitting. bastards.

so yes, 'tis snowing outside and environment canada says it's gonna snow all night and have a high of 1'C tomorrow. fuckers. i still dont have boots, or a good winter coat. i hope that i can acquire both tomorrow. i spent most of my afternoon walking around in the slush in my maryjanes hoping to find winterboots somewhere, but alas. tomorrow: the bay.

p.s. this picture is ganked from martin. it's not pg. it's jasper still. i'm still there i think.

makes you want to feel like a teenager: a photo essay to catch you up.

wedding. yay edward ep.

more wedding. beautiful!!

martin and stewart and i went for sushi to suzuran. it was so expensive, but so delicious. and again, they didn't have asahi supa dry!? what?

but the week before, the night of the wedding, martin and kalin went to white spot. i don't know who's burger this is, but yum!!

and the week after that i made everyone a big roast. the veggies were all from the veggie box. yummers!! i think all of these pictures go to show that we ate a lot over those 10 days!

and then martin and i went to the rocky mountains. this is on the icefields parkway. cloudy. snowy. yes.

we went to lake louise. the hostel there was like a palace but some bitch in our room kept saying "shhhh" in the morning as we were trying to leave. bastard!

some mountain. hm. we saw a lot of these.

Task Update: #13, 60, 70, 98.

#13: i got a new writing gig for snippets. i'm writing my first article this week! yay!

#60: Well, we moved into our "other" new place and are still not totally moved in. But we've moved out of the first place that I had originally intended the "move into our new place" for. So funny how life changes so fast. This item will officially be completed when the boxes are off the lawn.

#70: i might be interviewed for day break north re: the prince george craft collective. i must get a hold of allana!!

#98: around three weeks ago i took a drop spindling class at darlene's knits which is on george street. Laura Fry taught the class and i used my roving i got from dirty knitty girl. i'll get pictures up soon, but you can see the fibre here.

i'm at cfur. i'm going to go to burn the 8 track. i moved more things into the house. it's starting to feel more homey. i also built our bed so we're not sleeping on the floor anymore! yay! AND AND! i did laundry! two loads. i'm a fucking home-body and i love being at home and doing home things like watching food tv or the o.c. on much music. oh the life. i feel a change. my counsellor and i discussed how the changes are what's stressing me out. and my anxiety is fading. slowly. this next three weeks are gonna be fun! yay!

to call at 7:03 on your machine i slur a plea for you to come home

i got new hair. i spent almost my entire student loan. i paid off some bills. a lot of bills. we moved. we bought tonnes of groceries. yum. i'm somewhat wordless. i hate money. i hate that it's so easy to spend. and i hate that banks take incredible fees from them. i'm moving to cash. hm.

i'm at school today. an office mate picked me up super early and we brought my wingback and a modernist chair, and some plants, and little desk shelf (yay!) up to campus. our office has been reorganized to have a sitting area for reading, etc and our desks are all cozy. i have my iris right in front of the window and a ledge for all mof my coffee mugs. i'm feeling more at home here. i actually even made a to-do list. i've completed one item. a few more to go. well, more than a few. i'm starving. i should eat, but probably wont be able to until after my first class. off to research for my paper on cyborg babies. xo.

and so it goes..so it goes...

i'm the most anxious person ever. well, maybe not. but i bought a bottle of valerian today and i'm hiding myself away in my school work. we found a place and it is incredible! it's important to remember that the crises that happen in my life do not need to take over everything. i exist beyond the crisis. i exist.

sometimes i'm gonna lose my mind...

well, the slog of shitty things happening over the last few weeks is starting to just manifest itself into day to day activity. which may be nice, but i'm super anxious. every night for the last week i've had dreams where i'm just overwhelmed with anxiety. a few of them were me not being able to pay for my wedding and being there on my wedding day all stressed out. and really, i don't know how i'm going to pay for the wedding. somehow i guess. money ALWAYS works out. and then i'm super stressed out about being asked to leave my place and thus finding somewhere to live. i've called a few apartments but they're just in the middle of nowhere or really in the hood. one took my name down and will call (?), but i guess i just have to start calling on october 2nd. why is it so hard to find somewhere to live in prince george? this is ridiculous! i went to a counsellor yesterday which was good. we did an intake and if the practicum student wasn't in the room i probably would have bawled my eyes out. but i felt akward because there's this person in the room "observing" but you're unable to form any sort of connection with them. the "main counsellor" lady said a few times, "i'm so impressed with your ability to just deal with what's happening in your life and keep going in such a positive manner". and it's cheezy, but why can't i just accept that i'm working really hard and that balancing all of this work (5 jobs now!!) and yet still surviving through a life where important people just fucking fail you. but, not ALL of the important people. hey, stewart just showed up! i'm going for lunch!!

task #26. yoga. once a week. 10 weeks straight!

well, i started going to yoga again and my body is fucking killing right now. it's mondays and thursdays and *maybe* on saturdays too! as long as my goal is once a week minimum, i think that's doing allright. 10 weeks is up to the week of november 20th. i can do it! we're getting more in the mindset of moving (!!) and are seriously loving the idea of apartment living, even if it means rupert has to stay inside all the time (we should get him a harness and a loooooooooooooooooooooong leash). stewart's finishing up the last 30 or so pages of harry potter, book seven. and i just finished watching year of the dog. we rented roadkill, but i just can't get into it enough to finish it. i made the best fucking stove top popcorn ever, yes! and we had a slurpee. i think i'm getting caveties. is that how you spell it? i should really do something about it. i'm exhausted. bed time.

but i said, no no no

last night we went and had a stag party at strike zone! then after that everyone came over to our house and pretty much continued to get wasted. we played drinking games (fun!). broke a blender (sucks!). ordered pizza (yum!). and really, i'm quite hungover. stewart threw up a number of times and i just slept it off. but woke up dehydrated. so i had a bath, reading lady chatterly's lover, and have just made a cabbage/somen salad and am working on vegan chili for dinner. i have to head to work in a very short while (i don't want to), but have to b/c i need money! i definitely have a love hate relationship with the material world.

lately i've been feeling like the world has been falling in over me. and i think part of this process is learning to be tougher and to not rely on my crazy emotionality to get me through things. i'm also quite surprised the i just haven't given up. i guess that dealing with the fucking white squal is part of being an adult. why do people around me fail me? am i not worth awesome people? why do i let a few people's fucking up ruin it completely. i have to remember how many awesome people are around me. i have to remember that. aaaaaaaaaaaaah, i have to go to work. i'm losing my mind.

bitch cunt bitch cunt bitch cunt

our roommate has asked us to move out. she even said that she was sorry that we had to be the first that she is malicious to. november 1st. a new home. again. mother fucking fucking cunt face. grrrrrrrr.

i love it

In the best of terrace 2007...

39) Best place to check out art

“Local coffee shops.” “Jesse McCloskey’s house.” “Ferry Island! The tree carvings are awesome and so much fun to try and find.”

1 - Terrace Art Gallery

2 - Artful Cup

3 - Cafenara


i'd say, could that be the confederation nation?

this is what getting married looks like...

the cousins. all together. (only three of us are married in)


stewart's mom got a picture of stewart on the wedding morning. i knew she was coming and hid :)


almost married...


still almost married.

yeah, it must look something like this? i've been in a car longer than i've been in grad school. my neck hurts. i drank from 10am-->on yesterday. wine. mostly white. the tinhorn guwertz was my favourite of the weekend. oh! and the sumac ridge black sage chardonnay. i'm excited to jump into the $30 bottles of vino we acquired. and just bathe in them. oivey. best parts of the weekend included: my dress catching on fire, stewart's hicup during the ceremony, going to walmart, and shopping in the okanagan countryside for rasberries. oh and the cheesecake. yum.

task #41: working on it

we went to the blues underground blues festival today. for maybe an hour or so. it was a nice setting (the railway museum) and we rode our bikes along the river to get there, but i wont lie. the music was horrible. but, we spotted this cuter young man with a grey and brown striped cardigan and these honkin' fat skate shoes and la dyed blonde curly hair. we complimented him on his book and then talked about coachella. he slept through css (loser!) but saw rage against the machine. always nice. we're going to drink tea in the basement and watch a sarah polley flick (the i inside) and i'm going to embroider onto some felt! yay for embroidery! woot for felt! yayayayaya!! oh my god, speaking of cancer one of the women performing was pushing her cds and said she was donating 2 dollars from every sale to a charity and one of the charities was the war amps. her sister had cancer and went to the war amps camp (hereafter known as "amp camp" stewart says its a camp where you take your broken amp. baaaa) and now she's graduated to a camp counsellor at "cancer camp". cancer camp? is that genuine? sincere? or just a bad non-pc slip? hm. i like amp camp better though. what do you like better? (here, take a poll!)

peter gallagher called, he wants his eyebrows back (task #25 and #8)

ive been trolling at martin's pictures of his last few jaunts in akayu and china and am homesick for those people i loved so much when i was there (i still love them now!) this is a picture of my favourite favourite ramen shop. we used to go there all the time and drink beer from the vending machine and listen to jazz records and talk about counter culture with the daughter. so nice. baaaaaaaaaaah. i'm feeling nihon sick so bad. stewart and i have been counting down the days = 9! suh-weet! so excited! yayayayayayaaaaaaaa! other than that, things at home are sorted out. i'm sure details wont matter for a while, so i'll spare them. but phew!

okay, so task update:

#25 i began watching sex, lies, and videotape w/ stewart and derek and it was all boring and slow, until derek dumped the bowl of popcorn everywhere (ahahahahahaha!) but continued to eat what fell on him and stayed in the bowl. we ended up turning it off. it was nice seeing Gallagher's caterpillars again. and andie mcdowell being all prudish. we didn't get to the part where she fucks james spader. but it feels like it's going to happen!

#8 nine more days! yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!

jumping out of the saddle

today i received my tights from we love colors in the mail. they're so amazingly saturated with colour, i heart them! i got these fuschia ones and sky blue ones too! i'm feeling very weighed down by a bit of a conflict that is happening within the house and it's hard b/c i'm not sure what's going on. it's making me feel very unsettled, somewhat alone, and nervous. i feel like i'm being put into this situation where confrontation is necessary (or inevitable) rather than just being present in one's body and talking it through as one goes! i'll surface with more details after we get back from Oliver, b/c then it'll make more sense. it just sucks b/c i feel like i'm constantly saying that i'm taking the burden for things. why is it because i act like an adult that i have to clean up other people's stuff? why can't people just tell me what they don't like about me and we can make ammends, rather than freaking out? bah!

the summer is winding down and i need to buckle down. my birthday is around the corner and my marriage is even closer than that. yay! stewart and i are on this awesome love high that i don't ever want to get rid of and who knows what will happen to the current mood, but i love it. the next week or so is going to be intense, and in a good way. i have to finish up my proposal for my thesis (a draft anyway), as well as get ready for a new roommate and get ready to go on a trip to Oliver with my mum and her man, so that stewart and i can get hitched! it's going to be karaoke, wine touring, marrying, eating food, having breakfast, listening to country, and just having a good time. i'm too excited for a weekend away just prior to school starting. i'm quite behind in a bunch of things but am not letting it bug me. i'm at meow right now covering the store while b. is getting her new tattoo! yay! ive been listening to some new promos that came in and recommend the following:
1. the new mirah and spectratone international (!!)
2. black dice, hits in october, but nice!
3. lady birds. i am so happy that indie electronic is finally cool.
4. yacht = http://www.teamyacht.com

smmmchaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! yay for first day of school outfits! yay!! this is my pick for a back to school outfit. shoes! can't forget shoes!

there's something in the way...

YAY

FOR LEARNING

HOW TO

CAN!

well, and use a pressure cooker, and have fun, and listen to records, and order food through a bulk organic/health food company with a collective! go awesome prince george experiences! (i also received fabric and made a pouch! woot!

task #98: drop spindling

this is a picture of me, my sister, and our mom just after i got back from japan. i've been feeling LOW about myself lately: particularly b/c i'm gaining so much weight-->but who the fuck wouldn't be gaining this weight with my schedule? i suck at planning physical activity, but should get to it more. i do love this picture of the three of us. i think we've only been together one other time since then (as the three of us) and the next time will be the wedding. it's hard us being busy girls. stewart and i just watched arthur with liza minelli and i just love her. i love her style, her accent, her hair, and her attitude. i felt like i really wanted to BE her. well, embody her style anyway. and her figure. not some waify-thing we're forcefed now, but something gorgeous and curvy. i was telling the girls at work that if i get under a size 16 (which i haven't, but i've been a 16), i would begin to feel weird about myself and not be sure about who i was. so much of my identity is poured into what size i am and how much that makes me me. i know that i'd be incredibly svelt-ly gorgeous if i was thin and tall (the ladies in my family are killers), but i don't know if it's something i even want to get to. and not because i dont think i could get there (i couldnt at this point in my life, i dont have the drive to give into the patriarchal standards of beauty), but is there something wrong with wanting that body (ie. those beautiful milky tarts from suicide girls)? oivey.

as for drop spindling, i bought yarn today and i met a woman that is hooking (haha) me up with an instructor for drop spindling. i'm excited. i want to learn SO bad. off to read more klosterman and think about my thesis (i'm scared).

task updates

task #1: so stewart ended up buying torie's bike. but, he's going to buy me a purple pedal bike for my birthday! woot!

task #9: we're getting legally married on august 31st in oliver b.c. so, almost there! our symbolic wedding isn't until october. we're so behind i want to just cry!

task #10: i've sold twelve things in my store!

task #17: i ended up watching the last episode like three times. pretty sad. stewart wore his death cab pin during the folk fest to lament the end of the o.c. amy millan magically played a death cab cover. it's a sign! it's probably not over! i hope not!

task #24: i've made 4!!! (see pics on my flickr!)

task #30: harry potter and the order of the phoenix -->watched!

task #32: learning to skateboard. you should see the bruise on my knee! yuck!

task #43: work in a job for more than a year? this is my meow challenge! it's gonna be easy! hey, can you believe we've been in pg for almost a year??

task #61: we've signed up, but just waiting for our rentals to come in the mail.

we dont want our boring jobs to keep us paying bills forever

last night i could not sleep for the life of me. i tried and tried and tried. so at something around midnight i got up and have been reading erica jong's new book re: life of writing. more thesis reading. i should really be reading it right now. i also spent part of the evening making collages, and i'm just listening to a mix tape i made heather. it's so good. i want it! haha. there's some kids on tv, yacht, tegan and sara, the blow, the cure, b52s, new young pony club, cut copy. fun fun fun!! today i dont work ? but have to take rupert to the vet, and get my clean on (!!) and my read on (!!) and perhaps my sew on. oooh, and i joined zip.ca so we're going to start catching up on my 101 in 1001 list (which is updated! yes!)

stewart and i just went skateboarding for about 1/2 hour. i'm learning on torie's bright pink board. last night we got a little drunk and i learned then. but today i'm so tired and just was so thirsty and i fell for my first time. yes, that's right, i bailed. i landed on my hands and knees. haha. it felt good. we've been working out the details of our elopement in oliver, b.c. we think we're getting eloped on august 31st. i guess ppl knowing and coming means that we're not really eloping. but we're going to drink wine all day and have amazing food, and be with stewart's family at the end of the summer in a fucking wine vinyard. how nice is that? stewart's all complainy re: get off the computer so i'm going to run. stinker.

last night was the last night i was going to see one of my friends. he's off to new york to study clinical psychology (ph.d.) for 5 years. he's one of those friends that i've been wishing i'd meet since i've moved here and it's been hard because since i've really met him i've known he is leaving. so, thus, ahem, automatically there was this sense of closure of hiding of another awesome friend to be lost! booerns. on other fronts i'm pretty complainy lately. i mean, i woke up with a sore neck, i feel like i'm carrying the weight of this house, chore-wise, on my shoulders (i mean i've done the dishes something like 13 times and the next person as close is at 3 times!!), i'm hating my body, blah blah. it's all signs of stress. which sucks. hardcore. i'm feeling overwhelmed with everything (ie. planning a wedding, having some people around me that are "strange" and i feel might put me in an awkward situation, school, finances that suck, etc), and i guess i'm wishing i had more people around me to support me b/c i feel like supporting everyone (must say, there are a few ppl here that are incredibly awesome and supportive, they're just not in my life ALL the time). i need breakfast and probably a cuddle with my man. we're getting married early, we decided. yay!

tomorrow there will be another number

so the folk fest weekend is almost over. saturday was a day of exhaustion. we ate organic sausage, sold a bit of wares, enjoyed chad vangaalen (again), spent wonderful moments with friends (the kinds of moments you wish would last forever because people dont live here and others are leaving......) i plan on spending the entire day with my man. we're going to have wonderful friends over for brunch and then we're going to read. i have a big stack of new yorkers to get through. maybe a bit of tidying will ensue. enjoy the pictures. i sure do!


the arbitrarys get ready to open for corb lund.


the arbitrarys


aaah, brotherly love


chad vangaalen


pg craft collectivizes at the folk fest.


jeremy stewart reads with the versus project..