"we're not those kids, sittin on the couch"

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my cruiser, the lady! love the ride, the basket (i temporarily removed it so i could unpack it, and the suspension built into the seat! love!

there's this infamous tree in rosswood, bc (where the view looks like this.) and its called the peeing tree. its next to a creek. and through some magical pumping system and a pipe put through the tree, the tree "pees" water. drinking water. oh yummy yum. so our friend brought us a big jug of yummy water. sure beats the calcium infested town water. sure beats it. i woke up in stewarts bed this morning. went to the farmer's market w/ his roommate (and our beautiful red bikes). we ate homemade pakoras, paranta with fenugreek, rhaita, and locally made lemonade. whilst discussing organic farming with this older german lady who is a local organic farmer. we talked about fish farms. we talked about hormones in meat. i think im going to do the vegetarian thing again. maybe i'll try. cut down on dairy. perhaps cut out dairy. im so bad with working on my health. i put money into savings. i bought stewart a bunch of stuff (this cool buddha candle from maison decor, vintage leather jacket, and a threadless t-shirt) and then i went shopping for myself and bought a bag of the coolest buttons at the thrift store. vintage finds for $1 (hey, this is beginning to sound like obsessive consumption. hm?) and i bought a twice shy organic cotton skirt (the brown one) and it doesn't fit like one in the picture. maybe one day. im off to make jewellery. my sister's in town in a few days. EXCITEMENT.


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the thing about me, which i will easily allow to be because i am a virgo, is that i overextend myself for other people, because im nice, and because i inherently feel that i am really good at those things that i do, so, why should i hold those skills and abilities in, and not spread the wealth? so, i always spread the wealth, and end up spreading myself time, thinly.

ive been helping two other friends the last two nights open a new store (modern furnishings!), just volunteering two of my evenings about 11 hours in total, putting together their inventory system. i offered to put my art piece in the store (they have a blank wall), and they were either a)all for the idea and changed their minds, or b)weren't really for it, tired, and thankful for my help, thus not really willing to say "no". so, i got my hopes up, they didnt pick it up this morning, and then when i went in at lunch they said they were just going to wait for this art that's coming in a few days. ouch. so, its mixed. im upset for a number of reasons, 1)i worked really hard for them, and i made another nice gesture, and i feel rejected, and not needed, or only needed on their terms which means that i didnt set my boundaries for myself and i had high expectations (like i always do) and they were disappointed. 2)because im so tired from working late for them the last two nights that my emotions are compromised, and i cant think clearly or logically. so, my plan of action is thus.
1)go home and hang my piece back on my wall. congratulate myself for actually completing such an emotional piece. and take a nap.
2)remember that their "rejecting" of me and my piece has absolutely nothing to do with me. that they weren't actually rejecting me, and that i'm taking on the feeling of being rejected and unwanted, because i really was seeking validation through having my piece hanging in their store.
3)let. it. go. (which im getting better at).

on a gooooooooooood side. i spent last night with my man. and it was glorious. we hadnt shared a bed in 2 days. nor really spent time with eachother and it was really nice just to be at that stage where i missed his company and attention, and missed giving him attention. this morning, at eight am, leaving my house to go to work, it was really difficult leaving him all curled up in my blankets. .

i start housesitting tonight for some friends. they have many pets, three dogs, one with dietary concerns. im excited to walk the dogs and read my jpod! xoxo.


"thoughts that leave me, chasing after"

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he finally stopped posing for half of the pictures i took the other day. i'm quite impressed to say the least. i was called at my day job by a friend who is opening up a modern furnishings store. thus, i spent the evening working on his inventory. i guess im the new specialist in this tiny little town. another five hours tomorrow night and i *should* be done. holy man. i now know every single item he has in the store. yuck. i feel like a fat vat of interior accessories information. bleck.

my mum took me for a butter chicken wrap this afternoon. yum. and she bought me some hanging files. for filing. that i wanted to do tonight. but no. im reading jpod. and enjoying it. of course. love love love. i received my two final fantasy cds and my black mountain ep in the mail today. just uploading them onto my ipod. its great. i bought a sparkly cherry red cruiser last week. also fun.

life changing brain waving mind altering things? not really. other than i was/am seriously dealing with an incredible bout of the imposter syndrom. relationships are a lot of work. and im getting better at not working on mine all the time. the move to prince george is looming and i have so much to do. and no matter what i have done in the past i cannot make friends with money. i must make friends with money. i need to live within my means. bleck. did i mention its hot here and i cant think let alone NOT sweat. the hottest place in canada on saturday i hear. oh gods.
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the new tattoo. also fun. i love the bright colours. though they did fade with the scabbing and getting wet of the freshness. but i'm going to get it touched up in a few months. (man, it's windy outside...i should lock my bikes up now).