program rebels in a cruel cruel world

for the past week i've been seriously job hunting. well, not so seriously, but a few hours a day, and we've been thinking about moving, again. i've even applied for jobs in other towns (off-island) and am thinking about applying for jobs in other provinces. i've also applied for jobs here. that talk i had with the woman at service canada really lit the fire under my ass. and it's been a confusing week. i really like it here. we have so many awesome friends (of which have been working to get us to stay! so appreciated!) and when i was leaving the farmer's market on saturday morning i really thought, "this place. i like it."

the thing, though, is that sure, i'm 28, but i don't feel like i'm at a place where i can settle down into a place without having a job that can SERIOUSLY pay off our debts (about 50K in student loans, 14K for our car, and 6Kish for consumer debt) and fast. if we relocated to a place with a really high paying job even if it's in a shitty place or somewhere super COLD (like northern manitoba?) we could work to pay our debts off and then come back, buy a farm, and live the life we want to.

growing up is so hard. i dont know what to do with my/our life. i feel like i'm floundering. i wish someone could just point the way for me. it sucks that in High School I felt like i was told if i went to university i'd get a job and i'd be set. HA.

part of the job hunting, though, means my knitting time has been lacking and i'm super stressed out so there's still laundry on the bedroom floor (folded but needs to get put away) and the dishes i just can't keep up with them. the stress also means my body just fucking hurts and i have less patience for the helvetica dude. i need to just stop and cuddle with him a bit. ok. i'm off to knit. XO

i'll take it anyway you let it go...

so i just sent off the email to my employers telling them that i need to not renew my contract. it was *very* hard to write. right. you get it. i'm nervous about their reaction. that's a problem! i don't have secure work for after that date, but have a few options, a few recommendations, and have a job interview next tuesday. this whole thing stresses me out. not the quitting b/c i don't have an official job next (i hate not being in a secure situation), but stressed about how they'll respond, how much work i have to do in the next month, papers, assignments, all that jazz. it's not the best place to be, but it'll work out, this is my destiny!

this morning on the way to work, i catch the bus now, i'm trying not to drive my car re: global warming, need to take responsibility!! and this puppy had followed this other woman to the bus stop and it was so cute, and shaking, and had no tags, though it had a collar, and it followed us on the bus, and i had to kick it off. no one else took responsibility for the dog though. as i kicked it off an elder picked it up and gave it love. i'm not sure what happened to it, but ran into kellen (new friends, yay!) and he talked passionately about how it could have been the littlest hobo, it seemed smart, and then more about the show. we joked about the wits of a dog travelling along long transnational highways stopping in small towns to get everyone to like eachother again and pull random kids out of wells and house fires. oh hobo, litte (esq). we have yet to name you puppy. but now i want a dog! gack, i'm still nervous! i'm going to write some proposals for conferences and then go for beer and go home to bed! yay! xoxo.

i don't care about you anymore--you're secrets are tired

well, i've picked up a consulting job and i'm *really* tired from typing for the past while..but it's money!! and we watched the o.c. first two episodes of seasons three. stewart went to bed a few hours ago--that early morning wake up thing, and i get to drive him! ho hum, the most fun of my day!! then i come home and sleep for a few hours and then go to work. so i should go to bed. i'm pooped. my eyes hurt. and the fridge was making this weird sizzling sound, so its been unplugged and when we go to pay rent tomorrow then i will say, "hey send someone over to look at the sizzling refridgerator." and then we'll have a feast and eat everything that went "bad". oivey!!

rupert was playing with my rainbow mitten, just like a puppy.

can you believe that marissa was expelled and then ryan punched the evil "dean" of awful! and then that we'rd charolette-bitch-weird-creepy character that's trying to trap kristen into staying with her. what's her plan?? wait, don't tell me! i know i'm a year behind, but that's okay!!

teeth-brushing-time!!