last night before i went to bed i told myself that through my sleep i would be able to relax enough that when i woke up my jaw wouldnt hurt. and miraculously i woke up and my jaw didnt hurt. a variety of things happened today to stress me and im reacting negatively (ie. encouraging the stress, not sleeping, aka physiological ignorance, etc) so my jaw started hurting earlier. i didnt realize how much it would hurt from me clenching it, nor how much i would clench it. so it's pretty late right now. stewart is out with matt. they've got some fireworks. and i stayed home to roll up more of my clothes, figure out what i'm going to give away, and get it even more ready. we're leaving in pretty much exactly one week. prince george was *stressed*. so, im enjoying this few minutes. i spent most of the weekend colouring to destress, then to be asked, by my dad's wife, what i have to be stressed about (??maybe the fact that im moving to prince george in a week!!!!), and was able to move beyond that (a little, im still hurt, b/c im so emotional you know), and somehow survive the weekend. we found a place, on vine in p.g. near the skate park, the ymca, a healthfood store, a sally ann, a japanese restaurant, a park. our house is on a bare corner and looks a bit like a crack-shack. but we have PLANS to make it amazing and you'll all have to come and see it in its wonder. wow, im pooped. and my jaw, hurts hurts hurts. i did one of those "life experiences" inventories to look into what is contributing to my stress. and the "key" at the end said that if your score was 300 and up, if you dont control your stress, then you will get sick soon, 299-250 and lower and so on said you're at medium risk, low risk, blah blah blah. my "score" from this fucking life experience inventory was 701 points. hm. what to do with that? my eyes are stinging, im going to bed. (to sleep and wait for matt and stewart to get back so they can tell me about the fireworks. ...
over the past few weeks my jaw has gotten tighter. as in im getting more and more stressed. my house has gotten messier. as in im needing to pack and stop house sitting. ive gotten busier. i did some research and im building a website. woooo! and ive gotten poorer. i bought a car and i bought a lot of other things. like a fenchurch sweater for stewart. are you coming to the party?
so, im on my second week of house sitting. a different house though. some more dogs. definitely more cats. this time i get a truck (so i can walk the dogs, and she lives out of town, so i get a morning commute through the wilderness "oo ooo ooooooo!") im eating a really bad/fishy instant udon. im about to have a halibut cook off lunch! (residents vs. staff! i can't wait!!) and im otherwise working through my lunch break. gearing down to move. finally signed my contract. renewing my love with my love! the stress is getting to us, but we're working. through. it. and well i might say. i'm dealing with some intense burnout from work and having to deal with vicarious traumatization, gaps in support/management, and i just want to pull out my hair. i want to have more stories to tell you. hm. xoxo.