flowers from the lovely gloria!!
have you ever read the
open letters at mcsweeney's internet tendency? well, they're quite funny, relieving, and humourous. and, over at the bust lounge they have a whole section where you can write those letters never sent! so nice. and well, pissed off at my neighbour so i just wrote a big one, which is below. i felt so violate by his exchange this morning, well, his telling me the way it is, that i felt nauseaus and taken advantage of. so i smudged the whole house and it's feeling better. but this is something that i don't want to deal with. at all. missed both the film fest and the aboriginal writers and storyteller's festival which sucks. but got a bunch of books from the school library, i'm writing a paper for school/conferences on third wave feminist approach to grrrl internet-identity! yay! p.s. enjoy the letter!! xoxo.
=======================================
Dear My Neighbour:
Now, I know that living in the North means that it snows! I also know that I often hear you swearing loudly through the walls of our duplex, and I hear you screaming at your dogs, hitting your dogs, and arguing loudly with your girlfriend who I rarely see and have never spoken to. I also can tell that you do not do anything, well, when you're at your duplex at least! I know that you do not have a job (unless it's selling drugs, but not enough people come over to indicate that) and that you smoke a lot of pot (this isn't a diatribe against pot smokers, just *this* pot smoker) as I can often smell it through the bathroom walls of this moldy old duplex!
Back to the snow! It snows! I know it snows! And what do you do with snow when it snows? Well, you shovel it. See now, for a while we didn't have a shovel, and well, being as ghetto as we are we never shovelled. But miraculously you shovelled, or left your shovel out and we used it. Then you began shovelling the drive way to fit a million cars, or at least four school buses, then you'd knock furtively on our window and ask, "when are you going to shovel." not once did you talk to my boyfriend, talk to him about shovelling. Well, you did today, when he *was* shovelling and you said, "hey man, don't worry about it, it'll just snow over it anyway, if you need help, just ask". No, you didn't put down my boyfriend for not shovelling, nor did you tell him that it was his job to shovel, that i should shovel, as you told me when i joked about sending him out to shovel.
But then, yesterday you were gone, and the day before, and it snowed a lot, and well, I shovelled the drive way and moved my car off the street and into a small part of the drive. And, there's enough room for your car, can you believe it? And the walkway's shovelled, and the porch had 1/2 inch of snow from this morning, but you knocked anyway and said, "well, you can't park in the drive way if you don't shovel". and I indicated I had shovelled the morning prior and you stuck up your stoned gloved finger in my face and said "once, you shovelled once, you better keep shovelling, or you can't park in the driveway!" And then we shovelled and you had the above exchange with my boyfriend, so we decided we'd follow our plan and we'd shovel where we use the driveway and the porch we'll do the whole thing (unlike you who only shovels your 1/2!!).
I want to know what you're trying to say to me, what you're actually trying to say, because I'm getting the feeling that you like shovelling and well, you're jealous that no one has set up some fucking club for you. is that it?
In loving honesty,
ohsweetie.
so i just sent off the email to my employers telling them that i need to not renew my contract. it was *very* hard to write. right. you get it. i'm nervous about their reaction. that's a problem! i don't have secure work for after that date, but have a few options, a few recommendations, and have a job interview next tuesday. this whole thing stresses me out. not the quitting b/c i don't have an official job next (i hate not being in a secure situation), but stressed about how they'll respond, how much work i have to do in the next month, papers, assignments, all that jazz. it's not the best place to be, but it'll work out, this is my destiny!
