2.04.2007

i've been rappin' for about 17 years okay, i don't like my stuff anymore!

a few things have been happening lately. i had my intake at the counselling office and it went well. but then it took the counselling office around 2 weeks for them to get their stuff together and call me back. and i contacted the intake worker a few times: it was quite frustrating! and when i went into the counselling office and spoke with another counsellor there i felt like she was patronizing. okay, side note, i'm slouched in the big beige chair in our living room, and the laptop is well, on my lap. so, rupert's been lonely and he's just doone his catlike crawl up to my breasts and is literally lying on them, and my chest, cleaning himselff and just purring away, huffing and relaxing. so, this means that i cannot see the keys nor the keyboard and i'm typing all funny because i'm not having visible affirmation that i am typing the write words. no, i don't look at the keyboard, but if i could see the monitor i could tell if i was making mistakes.

what else.our neighbours. i'm going to come right out and say i don't liek them. they smoke a lot of pot nd it seeps into our suit through the bathroom. some nights i want to have a bath and can't because it smells so bad in our bathroom and i get surface high from it, which i dislike---alot!!! they're both sort of aggressive people and the guy, i don't htink he has a job and his hobbies are porn at eight htirty in the morning and well, video games and smoking pot. the girl does work and go to school and isn't around all the time, but when it was snowing lots he would be out there once, twice a dayh shovelling shovelling and he'd shovel enough room for a frickin' fleet of school buses in the driveway, and then knock on our door and say, "when are you going to shovel?" i guess me parking in his driveway that he so wonderfully hovelled was such a problem. and then the next day it snowed something like two fucking inches and he comes over: when are you going to shovel? i joked, yeah i'll send stewart out there to shovel, and he says!!, "well, you should shovel to you know!" and he's all fucking stoned and being abusive nd patronizing in nature and i'm supposed to take him seriously!? fuck, i was so mad. sso we've been parking on the street for most of the winter and it hasn't snowed recently, but just now i shovelled like an inch off of the entire porch (he would only shovel his side of the porch with this definitive line down the middle between our suites-=--some peopel are so fucked up!) anyway, as i'm coming inside he's just running out to shovel the 1 inch of snow ton the lawn to his car (we don't have a walk way!) so funny!!!. so, the problem is that i have to park mycar for a week (trying to stop my addition to climate change, i think that we'll definitely sell the car to save the environment!) and i have to park in the drivewyay. as i said there's enough room for a car lot in the driveway the way that he shovelled, but i get this sinking feeling he's going to say, "you can't parkin the driveway, you didn't shovel. bastard. i get nervous about stuff like that. well, and that sinking feeling of being abused. he has this power game re: shovelling. a close friend here said, "maybe he needs to resign himself to the fact that he likes shovelling!" god, and i must get this nauseaus feeling out of my stomach. he just doesn't make me feel safe in my home! so, with that a few weeks ago stewart and i decided we're moving for may 1st. thank god. hopefully closer to the downtown core. that would be nice. maybe we can get a suite in a heritage home that's a little bigger?

last night we watched this great movie called, "the oh in ohio". it stars parker posey, paul rudd, misha barton, and danny devito. it was cute and i love parker posey, really.

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