"on your street we march like toy soldiers in our winter clothes"

my closet before i unpacked my last bag of stuff...lots of GREY!


my closet after i unpacked my last bag of stuff...colour! tutus!


my wedding dress! (i decided to finally throw it out, but not until one more hurrah!)


i also found our of montreal vinyl wall art and put some of my favourites on our bathroom mirror (we have a lack of both wall space and windows around here).


some pins i also unearthed....missed them!

this evening i began to pull down the last of our stuff from the closet in the room upstairs that we lived in for MONTHS before our basement suite was finished. i realized after i unpacked most of it that there's still a box up there with a board game, some markers, and some craft stuff. that i'll have to get tomorrow. but i was super impressed with what i found, yet super disappointed it's stuff i've seemed to live without for the past number of months. OH STUFF I'VE MISSED YOU! SO SORRY! it's weird how just days after we decided that i do need to ramp up getting a good job with the provincial government and that we might be moving to victoria by the end of the year (if i can make it happen fast enough!)....i start to enjoy living in this space more and feel more at home. but, that being said, i'd really like to go get a gallette at cascadia and see my sister on daily basis. that would be nice.

today i also discovered a great way to take care of my much-loved to-do lists. the tasks option in gmail! duh!
it's super handy and is always there and it means i don't have to update my chalkboard for just my weekly list. i've been using my dashboard for more work-based notes/things so i feel so GROSS when i go to use it for non-work. (can you tell i hate working?) haha. anyway, i'm super excited to streamline my to-do list life. especially since i'm on the computer at least 32 hours a week for work and will see this list often.

i've been thinking fleetingly about living somewhere else lately. another country. go on an adventure. but am working steadily on reminding myself of what i want (a farm) and that to do that i need to stay here, work, pay off debt, learn more about farming, and work towards that goal. it is even a short-term goal (within 5-6 years) so i have to work as hard as possible. or the time will go past so fast and i wont be ready. i also have to remember that i want to do my PhD and that has to fit in there between working and getting ready to farm! ha! by the time i'm 35 i'm going to be even more exhausted!

speaking of exhausted, my thesis zine is done and completely ready for order!

"baby i'm howling for you"

right now i'm sitting on my bed in the dark. our routine for seth of bathing, breastfeeding, and bed has officially gone out the window. he's currently lying on the bed just past my feet, grabbing my toes occasionally and up until about 20 seconds ago wasn't really whining. and now he's whining a little. something i ate made me feel sick. i don't like feeling sick in my tummy. boo. and stewart's having sneezing fits. haha. we're in this weird space biding time until we might have a major transition very soon (moving to victoria!!). i have a phone job interview tomorrow and if i slay it then i have an in person interview in victoria on thursday. we're still going on our holiday to PG and the Okanagan, but we might be returning to victoria instead of port alberni. definitely strange.

today seth and i went for a long walk to buy groceries and drop off movies i watched yesterday (read: the back up plan was HORRIBLE worse than expected and i was expecting the worst. no chemistry. terrible dialogue. you could cut through the gender shit with a knife!). the walk was great and it was nice to take advantage of another not rainy day. but i should really be digging up my potatoes. i keep putting it off. when we got back i spent the afternoon cooking. i made a zucchini plum upside down cake (recipe tomorrow?) and half of it's in the freezer. i also made a meat pie. and i think that's why i'm sick. bleck.

UM, i'm going to be putting together my zine over the next two weeks. making copies, getting 'er done. some day this week i'll be posting just about it, with info on how to buy it, and teaser pages to read to decide if you want to buy it! it's going to be between $10-$15 or so (including shipping), and have extra goodies in it, and be 8x5 inches in size. a fatty, really. i'm super excited to have this project ready for zine-y consumption. i'll probably also try to find a distributor for it....that would be nice.

okay, off to bed. helvetica has stopped the whining and stewart took some vitamin C so maybe we'll all get some sleep now.

my heart may never beat again baby, have you got the best of me?

it feels like today was a lazy day, but i accomplished a lot! and while i count the knitting days for some reason as accomplishing nothing (now that i'm actually accomplishing something), i need to remember that knitting is just as important as everything else! even as important as my thesis which i finally tackled today.

i haven't been looking forward to my revisions, mainly because i disagree with most of them. i spent 2 hours today merging all my separate chapters into one document, reformating most of it, adding page numbers, and getting ready to do the main edits (textual revisions) tomorrow-sunday. i have a lofty list of revisions to do (arg) but alas. this thesis looks less and less like a zine with every change. when the academic version is finished and submitted i'll provide the pdf up here for you to read, if you like, and i will also incorporate some aspects of the revisions into the zine which you'll get in january/february.

in other news, i got a job!! it's nothing to write home about, but they told me in my interview that there's opportunities for advancement, etc. i'm still looking for that dream, career gal job, preferably in victoria, so if you see anything, pls let me know!

well, i'm going to play nintendo until stew gets home in a bit and then work on eden's xmas knitting until glee!!! i can't believe both gossip girl and glee are off all winter. i'm going to spend the winter months catching up on mad men and true blood. any other shows i should check out?? xo

FO: post-thesis make myself feel better hat

I made this hat using Diamond Luxury Alpaca Paint in a grey, pink, and white colour way. It was pretty riot-grrrl for me (the colours) and I love it. A. had the pattern lying around and has made a few of them to date, it's the So You Think You Can Hat pattern. RAVELRY link ## it's a free download, but you have to have a rav username.

I did the ribbing in a 4.5mm so it's super loose, I've been toying with dampening it and throwing it in the dryer for 20minutes or so. I also used a different yarn from the pattern so it's more "fluffy" looking than so lace-oriented. Regardless, I love it.



I also came home and organized my work space just a bit so I can get to those thesis revisions, internet in style, etc. I can't wait until we're in our own space and not just sharing a bedroom, but alas. xo

My Thesis!

My defense is this Friday morning and I'm almost done my presentation (which I'll put up for reading/download when I get back from PG next week). Below are my chapters, in order, for you to download, read, and get ready to ask me the hard questions.

The actual defense is at UNBC in room 6-205 at 9:30am. They're providing coffee and water, I expect the audience to supply the snacks!! I'm so happy it's almost over! please note: this isn't the full zine copy that was done by hand, but the electronic version. it's missing page #s and the sassy porn images...

Standing in the Way of Control: Me + Third-Wave Feminism (intro)

Get off the internet: Third-wave feminism, techno-culture activism, and cyborg futures

Fuck the pain away: this third waver tackles porn

You make me want to crochet?: third-wave historiography and the DIY crafting movement

Soft shoulders are made for crying, but are these boots made for walking? my first voice and experience of the highway of tears

I want to be the girl with the most cake: epilogue and resource guide

"you've been so far so long don't rush"

so, admittedly, i haven't really been *looking* for my camera charger. i've been pretty overwhelmed with looking for work and having kind of a poopy day today and yesterday, and continuously knitting orders for others that i just haven't made it a priority. but i need to find the charger because i have a huge shop update to do and a giveaway just in time for xmas. i also want to take pictures of my hair (i dyed it jet black) and of my trip next wednesday to prince george for my thesis defense.

my step dad is going to be here this weekend and i'll get him to set me up on our new webhost to upload pdfs of my thesis for pre-/free- reading for anyone that's coming to the defense or anyone that isn't but wants to read it anyway. i'm super nervous, but kind of excited! i'm going to read from a pre-written script AND use a powerpoint, both things i usually don't do, but i've been warned that it must be as formal as possible and as strong as possible. i figure i'll be winging questions from my ginormous committee and the gallery for at least an hour or more, so i can do something scripted and it won't be out of character. i'll put make up on and even deodorant: i'll be the perfect image of formality....or i'll try anyway. i already know that i'll be having minor revisions, too. so i don't have to stress about a clear pass.

in other news i went to errington for an appointment and to visit my aunt and uncle (dad's side) who live in errington on a cute farm (they have horses and chickens and live in a hexagonal house made from wood from their property..it's kind of sweet) and snapped this picture on my way home with my cell phone. the roads were a bit wet, but not slick, so it made the drive so fun! it's a pretty deadly stretch of highway but almost as fun as driving the nisga'a highway: almost.

going hundred miles per hour, with your radio on

it's still raining

and i'm still thesising..

it hurts with every heartbeat

i took some super cute pictures of stewart the other day when we were at the camelot. but right now i'm so in the zone i can't even begin to guess where my connecting cord is for the camera.... so picture less you are my friends! i left work a little early today to come home and thesis my face off. got a slurpee. ate some food. and began to work on it. i'm also working on an article that needs to be in the mail by the 15th. i think. it'll help me conquer that one on the list "get published in an academic journal". i hope it's all up to snuff and they love it. it's the chapter i've taken out of my thesis, too. so i think if it got published in a journal it would be fitting and a good way to say goodbye to that article. i'm working on my chapter about cyborgs and the internet... and attempting to use as many internet-based sources for the chapter..just to drive it home. stew's taking me for pita pit a little later and then we're going to go watch the hangover. i really shouldn't be taking time off from thesis but i haven't really seen him at all this past 6 weeks and we owe each other a date.

they call it way too rowdy, we call it finally free

right now this is my favourite thing. i've kind of resisted buying it because i know that it would go to a better home and i've been so distracted with thesis i've pretty much only paid our bills and spent money on food and some tights/runners, etc. oh, and rollerskate wheels which should be here sometime tomorrow just in time to get them on for practice.

i am so sick of looking at my thesis. i went to go finish formatting my last chapter and i should have tackled it easier b/c i was having such a hard time transitioning it from pages to microsoft word for mac. so i've just pdf'd it without any of the fun. and my scans from UNBC last night I SCANNED THEM WRONG. while it only took me 20 minutes I Have to do it again. gr. and, i guess in this whole process our house has been turned upside down by it's lack of "maintenance" and my contracting work has totally fallen behind and i'm SO BURNED OUT!!! i mean, i can't even find my charger for my camera battery to show off anything around me right now. i just feel so brain dead.

over the past few days NOT being on facebook has been awesome. i like finding different ways to communicate with people and spend less time trolling people's information and checking out cool things like blogs or just avoiding the computer in general (minus my school work). i really want to sew some things! it sounds like a gal pal and i are doing a table at the farmer's market this summer and we're getting together on friday night to scheme up names for our booth. to date it sounds like we're going to be selling home made/all natural beauty products like face masks and soaps and body scrubs as well as other crafty stuff. FUN!!

off to just stare into the abyss. aside from emailing my documents to copy services in the morning this shitty shitty first draft is done. yes.

whatever task # this is, my thesis is heading to it's first draft deadline...

oh boy oh boy, tomorrow is the big day: the deadline. i've had a rough week and feel the stress beginning to lift. i've been so burnt out by this mammoth of a project and am scared by the draft process. i mean, never once in my undergrad or grad programs did i ever do more then one draft. i just did the final draft (and usually an outline) so working on this kind of project is somewhat out of my realm... i am not even sure what the quality of a draft should look like so am worried that what i'm going to hand in tonight via email and tomorrow in the flesh (printed out style from copy services). i just finished scanning those drawings that didn't take when i did them at the shop (i'm at school using their super speedy robotic scanners, nice, and wonder why i didn't come up here in the first place)... well the lovely lady here in ems is going to leave in a few minutes so i better run home, get some takeout, and plow through this. oh, and i deactivated my facebook account if that matters...... love!

tra la la

i have this insane energy to get up and work on more thesis drawings, mainly because i don't want to do the dishes, but this is the first time i wanted to be with my laptop since i got off work 5 hours ago so i thought i'd take advantage of it. i checked my email, updated my twitter, checked my gossip girl forums on ravelry (and updated a project), and checked my facebook messages. i didn't do all that other internet stuff i love like checking my bloglines or uploading photos or checking flickr or anything else because i'm so sick of this computer and doing things on it.

i'm not sure i get the promotion i thought i'd get and i'm confused and super stressed about it because i put a lot of work into it and plan to put more in and built really strong relationships in the last week and i'm worried that it might be given to someone else. a friend at the library told me that i have to show them all i can do, but i still don't think they're convinced.

in other notes, i'm not knitting if i'm not at craftereve or stitch n bitch or on national holidays until my thesis is right and done. so i'm going to go work on it and drink lots of water. and then sleep. and begin another day.

it hasn't snowed here yet. it might come tonight. i really can't wait. xo

we'll not go home again...come and see!

so, school's done for this semester! my presentation went really well although i spoke really fast. i've picked up some consulting work which means that in the evenings while stewart is out with his writing group friends rupert is just perched half on my shoulder and half on the chair i've sunken into. and we're going to have joy tea and eat biscotti and continue to listen to the decemberist's the crane wife (i LOVE it!!)

below are my assignments from yesterday. here's hoping they work!

Indigeneity and Young Mothers: Navigating Validitiy in a Rural Environment =Indigineity presentation (altered) + presentation references
From Rioters to Knitters and In-between: Chronicalling the Third Wave in Canada = expanded thesis proposal