it's late but i still feel on the go. last night i was in victoria. i am so happy that i got to catch up (albeit so shortly) with four people and eat room service and get a slurpee on the fly.
i spent my entire day cranky and somewhat on the edge of tears. i had a "presentation" with the leadership team of mcfd, when i thought it was going to be a meeting. i understand their reason for excluding us (and we got to hang out as a team and bond, even if we did dissent), but i left feeling quite tokenized and politicized. some things i heard were, "i hope you didn't spend all your money", "don't worry, the kids are here", "there's some colouring", "oh you knit! you're so smart!", and (not directed at me), "are you a kid in care". i find it so weird that i am tokenized as a "youth" just because i do youth related work. i feel very much like an adult in these settings and i feel that i dont get the work done in these "youth" environments that i want to. my struggle is balancing the professional me (who has an education and skillez) and the youthful me who wears jeans, vans, a grandpa cardigan, and a barstar shirt to a meeting with the ministry of children and families. where is the inbetween?
today was so stressful for some reason. i'm at the point of blaming the fact i'm back on hormones (birthcontrol). i cry every day now, and i had a meltdown when i should have been eating a grilled cheese with soup (for lunch). i ate leftover cake from the birthday party last night and had a scone and an americano and just am going to get off my butt and make the biggest pot of the soul warming miso with everything in it. i spent my entire day (other than crying) tidying a little and knitting this hat. it's my third complete hat, ever.
well, into the depths of winter we are! i can feel the holidays all around us and it's exciting. i'm whipping up the last of the knitting projects (well, the first, er....) and am currently knitting a pair of socks, leg warmers, a toque, and have possibly been commissioned for a whole swack of stuff. and i have to make pj pants this weekend for a swap! today we went to the bay and i bought these shoes. yay for sales! and stacked heels! i can't wait to take them into the city for my 6 hour meeting and my double flight day (yuck). other than knitting, i havent been doing much. maybe reading a bit? hm. spending money? worse. back to knitting: i learned how to knit a gusset and turn a heel, which is SO advanced in my book. i'm so happy about it! we got some xmas packages today and they had lights in them so we've put our tree up. it just needs decorations. i'm going crazy. must go to bed.
i'm totally obsessed with gossip girl. my favourite is tracking the love obsessions between rufus and lily. and their children are in love? messy situation i dare say. i'm getting close to my ravelry invite. it should only be like one or two days now. i've begun to take pictures of my stash. i've also begun to decompress. i reorganized the bedroom this morning and now have a big pile of books next to the bed, and i've been knitting dish cloths and i'm working on a pair of commissioned leg warmers. i think this is turning into a knitting blog. yeep!