when you go to kiss our cheeks we're gonna put out our hands...

today was not as productive as it was supposed to. i'm going to knit a few more rows and then buckle down on my homework with snacks. yes. this is my first attempt at dying yarn with koolaid. i bought some tanks that were white that needed dying and lo and behold i forgot koolaid only works on animal fibers, not cotton. so i still have 3 white tanks lying on the floor in the laundry. but beautiful yarns that i can't wait until they dry. i'm really excited to do some double pink dipped ones next time. oh yes. (grape on the left and lime on the right).

you never ask me, you never cared to

i have "unless you're golden" by bella stuck in my head. so i'm trolling through my itunes trying to remove it. i had a white chocolate mocha at 7pm and i blame that in terms of my restlessness for being up still. i had a shower and i need to relax and "take care of me". not something i, or people i know, do very well. i have some sort of small itchy bug bite like bump on my arm and it's reminding me of ye summer of bedbugs and i begin to hate it. they're taking over my brain. i received a "letter" in the mail today that's disconcerting. it didn't make me as "crazy" as it normally would've, for the first simple sign that i didn't cry, and the second awesome reason that i have chosen not to respond and validate it with a response. i've decided to keep it in it's context that some people NEVER understand us as we are, naturally, and instead choose to prove their point about us EVEN if we do not want to hear it, because obviously they don't care (this is a run-on sentence) what we think, that's definitely part of the lesson. if there is a lesson. i think in this case the lesson for me is "put it down" and "this is petty" and "you don't have time for more drama" so "move on", "forget", and "take care of yourself". done. (i just needed to name it).

rupert and pickle have weird territorial issues in the house and the rearrangement of the living room has kind of put a weird spin on the mix. rupert now has more access to chase pickle (not good) but we also have way more space and a better feng shui, if you know what i mean. we've been batting around ideas of moving, but really, i hate moving and don't really WANT to move. at the end of the day i like this place and i really appreciate our living situation. we're very lucky! i have been fantasizing about victoria....

knit to sleep. itch itch.

ha!

this is honestly one of the funniest things ever. i got to reconnect with an old friend and am making new friends. it's pretty nice. and i'm doing homework when i should be sleeping. i think this is a good sign!

you can try to suck me dry but there's nothing left to suck

cbc radio 3 is using one of my photos for their searchlight post. they're trying to find the best independent record store in canada, and well, so far MEOW has the most votes. so if you haven't had a chance to put in your nomination head to cbc radio 3 ASAP to put in your comment on Meow's awesomeness. All of the nice comments make me feel like i'm part of something super awesome. because, well it is super awesome.

tonight was the first derby practice and i'm exhausted and i didn't even have skates on! ha!

and you will find harmony and peace of mind

i just bought ohsweetie.com and redirected something or another but am going to build an ohsweetie.com separate from this. this will still exist as a blog. sweet. i'm fucking up at school because i'm not here and distracted. i dont have the energy for more school. and i wont for a few years that's for sure.

edited to add: it's working! ohsweetie.com

she don't know anything but she's beautiful to me.

here it is again: i'm exhausted. i'm sitting at my craft table loading up on my assignment i put off and put off and have to present and hand in tomorrow. but it's my love. joan wallach scott. i love that on facebook i could change my political views to feminist. i appreciate it. last night was the burning hell show and it was really nice. jenny omnichord plays in the burning hell and was/is doing this haircut story collection project on their tour and i got a mini haircut in the back. so nice. westjet had a crazy sale today so i bought an airplane ticket for pg to vancouver for my trip to austin. and i bought plane tickets for mid april to go see the BLOW in victoria! ga.

back to the grind.

if i could get anything done maybe i'd hold still...

madamoiselle marion is well known for her monthly playlists. she uploads those tracks that get her through the month or that inspire her for the current month and you can get them. i have only ever downloaded one and don't remember really listening to this and i blame the fact that i get so into the music that gets me through the month that i can't make space for any other music. today both stewart and i spent our day acquiring music. not only did i get my old computer working (i couldn't move it after it started) so that i could transfer (for two hours) my music from the fuck children, fuck peace ibook, we downloaded a bunch. so, this is what i'm listening to right now, and you can get it if you want. somewhere. like your local record store. i know i'll go get it at meow soon enough. because i love it.

1. nada surf - lucky. not as amazing as let go, and definitely a positive departure from that classic highschool tune, popular.

2. the raveonettes - lust lust lust. i love it. the most played song on my itunes is "black satin".

3. Wintersleep - welcome to the night sky. just getting into this.

4. jaguar love. strictly speaking. i'm absolutely in love with johnny whitney. blood brothers. neon blonde. crystal city clothing. and now this. and he's a vegan. talk about a crush-worthy reason to also be a vegan.

eta: well, blogger or all of google went down and i lost the end of this post, but we just watched 10 things i hate about you and i'm all happy inside. ha! so i can't remember what i had written. something about being really creative today and yesterday but not doing any school work. that needs to rectify itself. but first, sleeping.

on the playground we learn so much

for some reason i have a killer headache right now. it could be a combination of the fact i didn't eat today really and that i'm exhausted. i might have a nap. i had a nap yesterday too. why is it that napping is seen as something bad? there's all these other things i should do like: laundry, dishes, eat, craft, HOMEWORK. ah well.

eta: i hit publish post and realized i had something really cool i wanted to say!

i had my thesis proposal meeting and it went *really* well. so well in fact that both my supervisor and i think that people are holding back. or maybe, i picked thesis support people that were so inline with my thinking that i'm not being told of the gaps/holes because there aren't any. from the meeting i basically got that they want me to be more confused, to document my confusion, and to create some sort of structure and closure even if it's visual!!! i'm so excited and feeling this real sense of artistic and academic license. it also means that i'm handing in my first draft on may 16th. which is coming right up on me soon. but i'm working on my last chapter.

my last chapter is on DIY/Craft and feminism and the historical record. historiography stuff. very cool. but the good/pitfall thing is that i'm on google scholar doing my research, you know seeing what other people think about a) the third-wave historical record/phenomenon, and b) DIY/Craft and lo and behold (i'm actually surprised this time) the only documents aside from a few articles are all MA theses that were defended within the last 2 years. and they're not even on the same thing. one's on zines, one's on crafting indie designers and the internet, one's on knitting. all relevant to my last chapter, but also not what i'm doing but texts that would support my text. how exciting is that? all of the knowledge holders are younger and doing their MA on it. it's not in scholarly journals and its not in book form, yet. i need to meet these people.

the greatest part about all of that is that i *finally* feel like i'm part of something beyond myself and bigger than myself, which honestly in this isolated little university you don't get to feel that very often. other people study these things and they're all cool! phew.

you're so fine..i'm so free.

this is AWESOME times! i'm dealing with incredible anxiety about some particular issues, but am working through it. it's basically that shitty things have been part of my life experience and they resurface for stupid but practical reasons (such as needing a t4) when i'd rather just let them be and not have to deal with those situations anymore. i'm starting to think more and more, though, that this anxiety is tied to prince george. i didn't experience anxiety before i moved here so now i'm a little concerned that this place is anxiety full for me. and bad health full. i've never been so sick for so long since i've lived here. i've had to overhaul my entire life to feel better physically and it's a humungous problem. i kind of feel like the arrows are pointing for me to get my life cleaned up and finished up here as soon as possible so that i can leave. it's a sad thought because i SO LOVE all the friends i've met here, but i guess that's part of being transient in your youth. i mean, we plan on moving to victoria (woot!) but that's only temporary, my phd will beckon.

i'm feeling more inspired and on top of my school work. this doesn't mean that i'm doing more, but i can see the end in sight. actually i'm going to make some food (potato salad with veggies yummmm!!) and then read for a few hours. pump back a number of scholarly articles and then sit down to either work on this sock or this sock. i might quickly work on something for the ohsweetie store (which def. needs to be updated). ooh, a little plug: i'm listening to chuck ragan right now. stewart and i both have this soft spot for "alt" country and this definitely fits the bill. especially because it's so harsh sounding at sometimes. hey, speaking of harsh sounding: guess what's not harsh sounding, but not even that great: Peter Morén's solo album. and Colin Meloy's solo album is REALLY pretty sounding at parts, but my god, boring!

because all great things make me cry

i always cry when people fucking tell the man where to go. i'm bawling this is so great.

it's lookin' like a limb torn off...

for anyone that knows pg and the loveable spruceland mall (that starbucks is my favourite) knows that not only did the dollar store close down but the fields jumped ship to victoria and 4th. and spruceland is even more void. we ran home from cinema cnc and even stopped to get a tea and still beat the 89 to spruceland, barely. now nachos is a cookin' and a late night snack to be eaten. i should eat meals more. rupert's coming in for the love and sitting on a pile of things that include "sandino's daughters" by margaret randall, the cordless phone, our camera, and a REB approval form. he's a classy cat.

today was one of the best days i've had in a while. i celebrated iwd by choking back the tears at the breakfast and enjoyed incredible speaches and a so so breakfast. bought some cute underwear, made arrangements to get pants from an old coworker, bought some yummy groceries, and knitted! i'm working on the holding hands, feeding ducks scarf and have been doing okay getting used to the placement of the star stitch, though making mistakes. and then tonight we went to see persepolis (!!!!!) amazing (!!!) and i screwed up every row with the star stitch. fuck.

nachos are done and ruperts officially lying on that pile of stuff. ooh, we saw NORTHERN LIGHTS tonight yes!

below is a shirt of the lovely craig h. from cubist literature. this shirt rocks me hard. i hate being poor. i recommend someone buy it for me.

still sick, the tale of my life

i'm on a gluten and wheat free diet (as previously complained about) and the other night i made pizza (!!) with rice crust and the crust was gross. but, i also made wheat/gluten free choco chip cookies that were delicious. so it's up and down, i guess. i pretty much had to cover it in frank's to make the gross rice taste go away. i made a handful of things to put in the store, two sets of man magnets and a pair of wrist warmers (with thumbs) that need a patch/embroidery. i also want to snazz up some hoodies and stuff but need to focus on my homework/ma just a little more. i'm getting really into the good stuff and am excited. i want to share it all, but soon.

i need to go to my tutorial and teach my students how to resist the man, question everything, and enjoy the bridge over the river kwai. sweet.

xo

task update: #11, #50, #63, #69, #101

11. attend an academic conference out of country

i'm going to austin, TX for the first week of april to do many things, but one of which is present at the 15th annual University of Texas Gender Studies Graduate Student Conference. i'm going to be presenting on cyborg identity and internet use. i'm super excited to go to TEXAS too!

50. fit the women’s clothing at american apparel.

check. well, their women's 2xl classic tees anyway. i'm happy i got this one already b/c i recently thought it was sort of dumb.

63. sort out that msp bullshit

when i went to get my address changed a few months back, the woman at the bc services desk said i didn't owe msp anything. hm.

69. go off of sugar

in progress! i didn't specify for how long this had to be, but my sugar intake is WAY down from before and I feel BETTER!!!

101. make my body as healthy as possible.

trying, but it's hard when you're sick.