program rebels in a cruel cruel world

port, saturday AM
trash paintings sweater
mmm, carrot
for the past week i've been seriously job hunting. well, not so seriously, but a few hours a day, and we've been thinking about moving, again. i've even applied for jobs in other towns (off-island) and am thinking about applying for jobs in other provinces. i've also applied for jobs here. that talk i had with the woman at service canada really lit the fire under my ass. and it's been a confusing week. i really like it here. we have so many awesome friends (of which have been working to get us to stay! so appreciated!) and when i was leaving the farmer's market on saturday morning i really thought, "this place. i like it."

the thing, though, is that sure, i'm 28, but i don't feel like i'm at a place where i can settle down into a place without having a job that can SERIOUSLY pay off our debts (about 50K in student loans, 14K for our car, and 6Kish for consumer debt) and fast. if we relocated to a place with a really high paying job even if it's in a shitty place or somewhere super COLD (like northern manitoba?) we could work to pay our debts off and then come back, buy a farm, and live the life we want to.

growing up is so hard. i dont know what to do with my/our life. i feel like i'm floundering. i wish someone could just point the way for me. it sucks that in High School I felt like i was told if i went to university i'd get a job and i'd be set. HA.

part of the job hunting, though, means my knitting time has been lacking and i'm super stressed out so there's still laundry on the bedroom floor (folded but needs to get put away) and the dishes i just can't keep up with them. the stress also means my body just fucking hurts and i have less patience for the helvetica dude. i need to just stop and cuddle with him a bit. ok. i'm off to knit. XO


yarnsalad said...

O MAN do I know what you are feeling right now! Change the numbers a bit (we don't have a car payment and owe more on credit) and we are in the same boat. "Go to Uni!" they said "guaranteed a job" they said. Bastards, they LIED!

I also relate about the staying/going thing. After the brewery job went south, we spent about four months looking for work in other places, not sure if we were going to be staying or going. Just the other day another brewery job came up (on the Island) and I'm not sure I'd actually be willing to move away from here.

Hang in there, I'm sure the wind will blow you in the direction you need to go!

laura said...

go a little easy on yourself, lady!
life is hard, you've been in tough stuff before and it always works out, right?
love l

Ustedes y Nosotros. said...

OMG i love this blog.