"wait for it, there are only two of us now."

im tired of having to defend my relationship with boy to other people. tired. tired from staying up late making art. tired from resorting to eating sugar and feeling like crap. tired of this computer that's always crashing. tired of knowing that right now, where im at, isnt good enough for me. and that i do need someone else in my life to make me feel valid. im tired of saying should. i must stop saying should. i need to.

my mum's playing her gorgeous instrumentals on her guitar. im kneeling in front of this slow, crashy, computer, and my paint is drying on the kitchen table. two more lines to go. and itll still be late for the art shop. boundless opportunities are upon me.

"she dont think straight, no no no"

it seems that the places ive been going lately seem to point fingers and conversationalism towards duh duh duh, vegetarianism! will discusses his reverting back to the meat (at the hands of a delectable bacon bit). and rex tackles the topic in a comic about "different types of vegetarianism".

i was a vegetarian for years! and it was fun. frustrated my mum. i almost wasnt able to give blood because i was iron deficient, and then when i did i felt like crap. i got to pretend i was better than everyone because i thought i was so smart and healthy. i got to try new and weird foods that were incredibly delicious. dabble in vegetarianism. and pretty much live off of pasta sauce when i was a student. and then, as ive probably told you, that day in my last semester of university and i was stressed out because i knew my relationship was over (yet was too weak to actually leave), my grades were sucky, my friend was dying of cancer, i was poor, and just so tired from doing school for 18 months in a row (full time!!) that i craved chicken in no way ive craved anything before. and i ate chicken. and began eating pepperoni. and beef. and my body hated me. i gained back that 40lbs i had lost all those years ago, and then some. i felt ugly and didnt feel i was getting my sexual needs met, and it just got worse and worse and worse.

then, i moved to japan, and didnt give up meat (i decided to eat horse and chicken tongue instead!) but recently have decided to try and kick the meat from my diet in the style of a freegan. and its nice. im loving the yams (of course) and even loving more the fact that boy (who is now called "boyfriend" to the general public) is also a vegetarian. this time there's no, "im better than you because i make healthy food choices." just, "im making healthy food choices." i feel lame right now. huh. xoxo.

"we'll have a rainy day parade"

so. went to sleep with a conservative minority government. woke up with a conservative minority government. arrived at work with a conservative minority government. read that p.martin resigned because he lost to the conservative minority government. note: dont canadians want a leader who stands up after having lost and continues to fight for what he and his party believe in and protect canada from the possible demise at the hands of the aforementioned conservative minority government? i sure do. but. i also went to sleep with a riding who voted an ndp mp in a consecutive manner. again. we are ndp both federally and provincially. again. and that mp, nathan cullen, got 48.5% of the votes in the riding. a sizeable lead on the conservative candidate. he swept up votes in both urban centres and first nations communities. the ndp office was abuzz at 6pm. i sure had fun calling people reminding them they still had 55 minutes to get out there and vote! while the conservative office was dead. im not looking forward to going to sleep with a conservative government. but. im somewhat please. downright ecstatic in fact. that when i do get to the point of trying to start the lgbtq centre in terrace the people i get to allign myself with are pro-queer. rather than the conservative fucker who said, "no one in this riding wanted gay marriage." i sure did.