the heat escaping barely keeps you awake, shivering in your clothes

It has been just over a week that I last plugged in my desktop computer and today I realized that I have to stop avoiding my responsibilities, plug this baby in, and get to work. The list of stuff I have put off all week has piled up and my list is looong, but no worries, doable, and I'm not really stressed about it.

Seth and I got to Prince George on Monday night after an epic three-day road trip and are leaving on Tuesday morning and gunning for Vancouver. There's snow 'til Clinton, so as long as we get there by 3ish we'll be good to head the rest of the way. The snow here and the cold has been nothing short of wonderful. The coldness isn't even that bitter, yet, and Seth is overjoyed by the time he gets to spend all layered up, waist deep in powder.

well you ask yourself why you're so afraid

The car is 90% packed. The house has less of my imprint, but you can still see me in the piles of boxes and the random stuff left behind. Our new roommates move in tonight and in two weeks I will pick stewart up from the Ferry and we will go to the Okanagan for the holidays. I'm going to spend two weeks in PG. Hopefully to do job interviews, participate in a craft fair hosted by Laura of HOME SWEET HOME, spend some time with friends, and unpack my car. I'm surprised by how much, yet so little can fit in my little car. It's truly disappointing.  To top it off my life is a little crazy and unseeded, I'm sick, and I'd rather go to bed right now but have SO MUCH to do. First thing, load my iPod(s) and shut this computer down and put it in a box. Oh, and make dinner.

(this past week I made sugar coffee scrub and lotion bars with teen moms at the local alternative school. gonna miss those grrrls).

 

i knit a hat!

Here's the project link from Ravelry!

For whatever reason when I put my hands in the woollens box to pull out a hat to wear on a cold day, well, there was not a single hat in the box. I know for sure I've given two to Holly, but if you troll my ravelry projects page, you'll see I've made a gazillion hats: where are they all? (I have one, but it's ill fitting, though warm.. but at this moment I don't know where it is).. Why do I live my life in such crisis? I'm not good at settling down, being super organized, and knowing where my stuff is. I'm looking forward to having dogs next year to force me to be home, be more oriented to a home-based routine. It's probably my biggest challenge re: my mental health. I'm so trained to be an extrovert and out there pleasing people with a smile on my face, but at home I'm so scattered. I saw a headline from a newspaper article about me and a colleague who I admire and love to death, but the headline was "giving their lives to help others". It's not like it "struck me" but it's a good reminder to recoil inwards a little bit and find work that satisfies me, rather than some idea of helping other people all the time (and sacrificing myself). I'm doing a lot better at not being a bleeding heart, and my vicarious trauma is zilch to none, and I'm trying to take less of the emotional side of my work on, but it's hard, and it's stressing me out, often.

Anyway, back to the hat. I got this beautiful yarn from my step uncle last year and knit it into a hat over the last two days. LOVE IT. I'm so excited to live somewhere with snow in less than 2 weeks.