are you far too depressed now to answer the phone...

you know when things seem like they're going so well and then they just begin to unravel? i was trying to say to myself a variety of things: 1. it's not that bad (which is probably true), 2. well, it's just supposed to be this way, 3. it's for the best, and, my favourite (?), 4. it's an opportunity for growth.

it's weird thinking about how i used to cry every day, and then this winter I was so depressed, and i've just been feeling AWESOME lately. it turns out the place were were supposed to move into (and i was SO excited!!!) isn't going to work as soon as possible. and i'm not sure when it'll work. which sucks so hard. then, last night on the way home two creepy guys, one while i was walking, and one in a truck slowing and staring at me coming into the house just made me feel so unsafe and i just want to get out of here so bad! i'm feeling less and less comfortable and less and less safe. and it's so hard to find a place to live here (especially when you have wonderful pets). and then i was all crying and upset because stewart's wisdom tooth is coming in and he has been a bit of an attention hog for just over the last week, which is kinda cute, but draining. and i'm just tired and feel like i haven't made any SOLID friends here, no friends i can really call up and they'll come over and cuddle. i'm excited to move to montreal but i'm just so tired of moving and trying to make new friends when i have fucking amazing friends in all of these other places i've been (vancouver, terrace, nihon). such solid, wonderful, fun, supportive friends. it's just so much energy to reinvent the wheel all the time! i mean, i've moved four times in the last three years-->how am i to build solid relationships? bah!