epically terrified.

I wrote this article for the Shameless Mag blog about the dissolution of my marriage. You should read it. I've read it a hundred times. The last paragraph still makes me exhausted and teary. I'm super exhausted right now and am retreating even more. I'm so so so so honoured to have so many wonderful supportive people in my life. Not sure I could do this (life) without them. I know I couldn't. I'm working through a laundry list of 22 things to sort out mentally/emotionally without much urgency. Giving myself time to 1) not process everything 2) be in the darkness in an accepting and loving way towards myself 3) not feel pressured to make every bad feeling a good feeling or every bad situation a good situation 4) to be courageous to love others and myself more authentically/epically/truthfully 5) trust myself that I make good decisions and can make more good decisions and will continue to make good decisions.

Played derby last night. The Con's weekly rituals came to a close and I was happy to get out there and skate my ass off. I've come so far and feel so good. I didn't fall very much and continued to feel incredible shame about how physical I am in this game (and how many people I just fucking bulldoze). I need to figure that one out (add it to the list).

1 comment:

nicola said...

so. happy. that we finally met <3