10.27.2005

"i wish that i knew what i know now, when i was younger"

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we carved more pumpkins!


im up late tonight doing research on women and violence and coping strategies, etcetera, to get prepared for my interview tomorrow. im really nervous that i will not get it. to the point of being super stressed out and almost being on the verge of tears whenever i talk about not getting the job. i will definitely have to create some tear-enducing situations later this evening so i can bawl my eyes out and get it out of the way. i just ate a bowl of "insta-udon" that had japanese on the outside of the package, and korean on the inside. very interesting indeed. but i added some fresh mushrooms and it didnt taste too bad. i started writing. we've pulled the typewriter out so i can write some more. ive been crafting a lot and just stressing about the job to the point of being non-functioning. i mean, i can only knit so much to deal with the stress (especially since ive already used up all my available wool). and i kinda started biting my nails again. so i had to go paint them to stop the biting! okay, and a little bit of boy talk. its not a gush sesh, but just want to say that im not feeling really supported in regards to my liking this guy. i mean, on one side im being dissuaded of telling him i like him (i only met him a week ago), and that he doesnt like me (he had a date the other night), and my own personal dissuasion of "why would anyone like me? im not attractive at all. im poor. a bad conversationalist. and just ugly." i hate feeling like this. bleck.

2 comments:

Will said...

who wouldn't like you? I hope you just put it out there because he'd be stupid not to see all that you have to offer. You got smarts, looks, well travelled and quite cultured. I can keep this list going if I have to, but you get it. Don't get down on yourself, you're a delight.

Carly said...

damn - will just stole my line!

di - you're amazing. you've taught me so much in our short term as friends.

we all get in those funks. i (heart) di!