he's got a dirty mind, just don't know what you're going to find!

i'm on campus, in my new office!! i think i'm supposed to share with a few other people, who aren't around. so wolf parade, the gossip, mirah, pinback is blasting loud. no one moved in yet means that my comics make it on door and my wincing the night away poster makes it. i get to pick my shelves, my desk, and just have some alone time. and you know what? i'm actually writing! so, i thought i'd share my progress. it's nice to know that i'm about 40% done my 1st draft. and i'm only in month 7 of my program (out of 24). wut wut! tuck tuck tuck tuck tuck ya ice! what you're going to read below is the first two pages of my thesis proposal (which is also my first chapter. this is the lead in. you know, to get them hooked!) lets cuddle soon.


madness as mentorphor: where i enter and why this isn’t your same old thesis.


Convention would state that a thesis oriented Master’s program is of import. To have an attempt at legitimacy or to grasp at a want of agency and idea ownership is imperitive for one to take an academic stand. And then to get up and say, ‘this is what I believe and stand behind, now let me prove to you why,” is lauded as a move of great strength. A strength that is rewarded with the sought after “clear pass”. All of a sudden crowds of academics, with years of hard work behind them to earn their much dreamed of tenure position, jump to their feet. And what a feat! Yet another academic is crowned into the old boys club of traditional knowledge.


A number of years ago I was, like any teenager, bored of my isolated, yet supposedly “urban”, northern rural town. I would year for the big city, the cosmopolitan, the hip, the cutting edge: things not found in sleepy, “the mall is closed on Sunday”, Terrace, British Columbia. An then, one thing led to another and my interest in MuchMusic, combined with poverty, and a desire to do something, anything, led me to starting a riot grrrl ‘zine with another angst-ridden cohort. Throughout Junior High, and my zine career, I learned about the non-glamourous side of resisting the community I grew up in, such as having my zine banned from the school grounds, friendships that fell apart if you were not “alternative” or “hardcore” enough (oh the difficult life of a subculture refugee), and the recognition that, perhaps resisting and being alternative were just the same as mainstreaming yourself.
On the flip side, I was honoured with the strengths and priviledges that accompany speaking out. This included having my grade 9 English teacher, who later would come to exemplify the Beat Generation for me, read from my zine to our entire class, and discuss its importance and clutural relevance: a moment that ensured I would forever be proud of my work. My work with the Underground Lemon put me in touch with community subculture activists, counter culture maneuvers, and a positive and rousing slew of feminists.
Since those days, and over the past 10 years, I have utilized that intial connection with feminism as my foundation for the work I would complete over the ensuing time span. From speaking out against School District policies regarding racisim when I was 16, to being a 117 year old self startging fashion designer and entrepreneur, to being 21 and coordinating the Simon Fraser University’s Women’s Centre, to being 24 and a Stopping the Violence Counsellor, I have somehow led my life with an ingrained sense of feminist purpose.
Having chosen to plunk my counter culture, subculture, arty, d.i.y, riot grrrl, compassionate, electropunk, glittery, activist, hipster, feminist self into an academic setting I began to feel a bit like the crew La Vie Boheme crew:1 dancing on tables, wearing layers, partying, and resisting “the man”. And what a sense it was to be nurtured by others to do this! To be empowered to throw, “no means NO!” at the old boys club of academia, and really, do something unofficially different.2