8.19.2005

"ive got a hunger, twisting my stomach into knots"

new black hair
my new black hair. oh yes! and the matching black hoodie. someone please buy me the entire good charolette discography quick!

lucy and i
lucy and i sitting outside of the community centre on akayu's high street. we're sweaty and gross b/c it was so hot. but we wowed the men at the shiakshou enkai so much that they called "gorgeous! gorgeous!" to us when we walked in the door. oh, and the buddist monk. what a flirt, i tell you!

karasuma dori
looking down karasuma dori at the intersection with shijo. i was waiting for lucy. i hadnt slept at all on my night train (the air con was so cold!) and was miserable, but looking forward to a hot and sweaty day in kyoto.

gion pottery matsuri
my first night in kyoto we walked everywhere. this was a bunch of red pottery at a table on the western end of gojo. the whole street was lined with pottery stands. both sides. all of gojo from the river to kiyomizudera. it was pretty cool, ne?


wowza! sashiburi ne! holy fuck! i have to fill in the gaps to make it make sense when i say: "im moving out of my apartment in 11 days. im flying back to canada 12 or so days after that." and b/c ive been stewing on it alot, and the last week has been fucking horrible, up until about yesterday (there were some good things within said horrible week that were fabulous). so, yeah, i quit my job. and b/c its so close to when im coming back to canada, i decided to throw the gas in the fire and actually come home early. the nausea has worn off some what. i think that i feel like im going to vomit more of the time not so much b/c i am anticipating horrible things to happen to me (as they would be if we would consider my employment situation), but rather due to lack of sleep, lack of proper diet (i ate lunch today! yatta! first time this week!), or the fact that i have HONESTLY found my soul mate here, and he just doesnt know it and its DRIVING ME UP THE WALL! anyway.

where does that leave me. im currently thinking about packing, and will start in two days (i have a group date tonight and then im going to the ocean tomorrow! so exciting), and buying the last of my omiyage, and fitting EVERYTHING that i had planned to do with people here into the next three weeks. which, is a little difficult. last night martin and i booked our ryokan stay (all night hot tubbing, dinner and breakfast in our room, walking around in a house coat, sleeping, reading books, all for the low price of 14,000yen! yatta!), and well, i have plans up the wazzoooo and cant really handle it. i will be sleep deprived and cranky, and bawl in the airport. but at the same time i can wait to come home! fuck.

okay, so, the plan was that i would move back to terrace. but then my lovely uncle just put and email into my box, saying his company has a position coming up, and that i have a very good chance of getting it. i hate that everything is up in the air. but, a full time job, making sweet cash, on pender and thurlow. sign me the fuck up yo!

wow, that was a lot of information probably for those who know me rather than the regular reader? so, to close it off, a little story: on thursday night when i told my friends marie and hiromi that i was leaving so soon and had quit my job, hiromi, who has very little english said, "i hope you come back to japan. you seem to be at peace here, and that this is the place for you. please come back some day." and you know what? he's right.

xoxo di-train.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i can't wait to see you after all this. what a tough decision, but i'm sure it's the good one if it feels right. sometimes we just need to pull out, to act wild, to just stop or start or go or stop or do whatever.

i do hope you're able to be in vancouver, but hell - i'm not even there yet. life is sucking for me too, but hardly on such a grand scale. it's like I burned my finger making an americano today for some beachbum bitch in jericho while having pms cramps and i felt like i was going to crumble. goddamn bitches with their tans and perky breasts. it's just COFFEE.

grrrr.

twelve days!

caitlin