"mr. postman, do you have a letter for me?"

this evening we had a bunch of beautiful people over for dinner. i made baja baked black beans, plain and fancy cornbread, spinach salad with maple sesame dressing, walnut/cranberry brown rice, and yam fries with rosemary and whole cloves of garlic. it was delish. two friends brought desert: blackcurrant/coconut squares, and cream puffs with strawberries and kiwis (both homemade!). we rounded out the evening by singing some songs, and then playing cranium. it was neat to see how my friends would interact with eachother. i think that i like social experiments like this a lot more than i do parties where everyone knows eachother. i like to see who can step up to the plate and meet new people.

im a little cranky today and in a strange mood that is indicating im feeling crabby towards boy. and probably only because i know i cant have him. and especially today im feeling like i want a partner. someone to be intimate with. not sexually per say, but just someone to "be" with. and i hate that. i should be happy with just myself. there's this other guy that im starting to like more and more, but right now i just dont know if i have the energy to get involved with someone who has a lot of issues (re: drinking problem) that can definitely be worked through, and i can just see him reaching out for someone, attention, validation, meaning. and i just dont know what to do. how to respond. its a little iffy right now. and im bagged. so im going to turn off my decemberists cd, clean my labret out, and go to sleep. oyasumi nasai!