im making mix cds for the christmas party this saturday. and making lists of what to cook (so far we've got pierogies from scratch, hummus-es, salsas, guac, pumpkin cheese cake, and cream puffs). setting up times to decorate the house with christmas decorations. sewing jackets for presents. staying up late with boy #2 watching garden state. holding hands. getting tingles. wanting to jump him in my bed (he spent the night). but not feeling comfortable. he has a guard up that is so understandable and validated. we've decided to not decide where our relationship is going until after we both get back from our xmas adventures. i wont be able to do it unless that wall comes down. i love boldly, blindly, and well. i need someone to do the same.
excitement is heating up for my soon to happen trip to vancouver and vancouver island. just thinking of seeing my sister makes me weepy (we're going to have so much fun together!!) and making plans with friends. wanting to get some fake nails. adventures with boy #3 (oh, sweet sweet adventures!) are anticipated. just downloaded a bunch of sufjan stevens. interesting fellow. i have dirty teeth from orangina and popcorn. im feeling empowered yet having an ugly day. i hate that i need someone else to validate my existance. yuck.
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