2.01.2006

"i am aglow with thoughts of you"

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yesterday, after work, i got a massage. it wasnt tough on my back (sometimes i just like being layed into, if you know what i mean), but she did get quite a few of my toxic-knots worked out. which does a few things. first, it made me feel pretty relaxed. second, i know that i store emotion in my body. and these knots represent those stored emotions. for her to work on those knots, remove them, and balance my chakras, i felt really spent after. i felt that i had been in an intense self-discovery session and had hacked out years of emotional build up, and my body was taking it out on me. letting me know that i am exhausted. that ive worked through it. but i havent. maybe because the stresses have been removed from my body i will be more able to tackle that emotion stuff ive got swimming at the surface.

after my massage i walked to the cup and sat with boy. he was reading the ivan e. coyote book i got him for his birthday. making notes as to which passages he wants to read to me. aloud. in a warm, welcoming bed. i told him how during my massage i was so relaxed, so exposed, and so exhausted that i fell asleep and woke myself up with my little snore. and he said that he didnt want to tell me, but everytime i sleep i snore these little snores and always wake myself up with them, then fall back asleep. he said it was the cutest thing ever. and you know what's sick? what's one of those things i never want(ed) to do, but do anyway. and that's feel wholly appreciated. loved. admired. and its so cheezie, but its nice.

1 comment:

Carly said...

i think i've heard the same things from you but i'm always so tired when i'm sleeping with you that i'm out like a light.

i'll lay on top of you any day.