"the mountain stood so large, we were humbled"

(fancy kale at the famer's market on saturday)

for whatever reason (partying too hard on saturday, too much going on, moving, money, blah) i'm super stressed today! and it's stupid. first off i blame my not having my vega shake lately. i need to buy apple juice (and am heading out to do so right after this) so i can take that gross tasting powder, but it is POWER, so i should just suck it up.


(a hat i'm working on)
somehow since last week my life has just gotten so stressful. i need more coping mechanisms and more sleep, really. i can't maneuver with as much intensity as i usually prefer. whenever this happens i feel really shitty in my brains. i get all shitty down on myself and it's like "hey d! we all need rest!" WE ALL NEED REST.

other things to stress about because they're driving me crazy and i just need to get it out so i can move on:

1. house work. there is so much house work to do and i don't have time to do it. i hate this. even if stewart and i worked at it steadily all the time we could never get it done. no fun.

2. our cats: rupert's sick and all sketchy. and then i wake up to him cuddled between me and stewart...kneading my back. and then i wake up to him attacking a spider which leads to ...

3. spiders!! there are so many of those big semi-translucent spiders in our house. one-three a day and they're ranging from medium-big to massive. one was so big that when i vacuumed it up (they're too big for me to feel comfortable squishing with tissue) it THUMPED as it was going up the vacuum wandy-thing. yuck. i think i'd feel more comfortable in my home if there were no big spiders. and we've been here two summers, i don't remember having any last year at all.

4. i told everyone at work and in my work-community that i was moving last week. super stressful and emotionally draining because everyone wants to know the story wants to know why i'd leave them, blah blah. tiring.

5. the computer technicians at work LOST>DELETED>WIPED whatever was on my computer that i've done since march. they won't take responsibility b/c it should've been backed up, but dropping it off at the main Y and having it plugged into the wall should've been the back up. i guess that step got SKIPPED? anyway, now i have to rebuild everything. no fun.

6. i'm back on facebook. and i don't like it. i think i'm going to just not use it often. it makes me feel yucky.

well, so that's a long list bleck. but just to counter it here's a list of things i'm excited about:

1. i'm almost done kelly's scarf. it's taking me forever and i want to gouge out my eyes with the needles. i can't wait for it to be over!!

2. packing and moving. i like knowing i still have it in me to get rid of half of everything, restrict my craft supplies to one box (not yarn), and cleanse myself of objects! i guess this is what i get for reading so many books about buddhism when i was an adolescent. it's just intrinsically in me and who i am that i don't even recognize it as "odd" to just purge.

3. no more yarn purchases until it's all gone! the main reason for this is that i want more tattoossss and should save $$

4. gossip girl tonight! woop!

5. i sign my paper for my final draft tomorrow morning. we set a date for my defense over the next few days. OMFGG!!

6. caitee and her band get her on wednesday/thursday and are staying for 3-5 days! yay!

now, i'm all excited! i'm going to go find a sports bra, do a few dishes, and then go get vitamin water for the gossip girl party!