7.07.2005
when i fuck up and do something stupid like dropping one of my favourite earrings down the drain or cant find the self confidence to ask someone i am insanely attracted to out, what do i blame? the fact that im fat. and that its my fault. and that no one will love me until i am obviously smaller than the large shape that follows me around. i never see myself as this shape that presents itself to you. i try to have a healthy image of myself. i try to say that its not me, "its society and its fucked up ideas about body image". obviously my losing tonnes of weight and looking so different and barely fitting any of my old clothes b/c they are too big doesnt mean anything. i still cant get that one person in my pants. on the floor. decorating my apartment with his clothes. letting me make him breakfast. letting me be the one who will fight for a loosely defined sexual relationship for a mere three months. fuck!
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5 comments:
stop reading my mind....
Yep!
Hi, I found your artificia stuff from craftster.org. and I've been looking at your crafty stuff and then I came across your blogstuff.
You are so cute, you shouldn't put yourself down. You are cute and funny and very creative, and you know, fuck it if you're not some stick girl. I think you are fab.
kisses! thankyou!!
p.s. i got new jeans from my parents/grandparents in canada that fit to a t. i cant even begin to explain to you how much better it makes me feel to have pants that fit! xoxo.
I can relate to the body issues, they do indeed suck. I put myself down all the time, but feel sad when other people, especially cool chicks like you, do it to themselves.
Congrats on the pants. My mom also gave me a pair that actually fit awhile ago. I dont know how she managed to find them because every time I shop around it seems like everything that fits my gut has miles of fabric hanging down in the ass. It's very frustrating, but it feels great when you can find something that works.
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