"because each broken heart will eventually mend"

presently im struggling with a new way to post pictures. baaa. last night i went out with my uncle. when i left his daughter was afraid of me and preconversational (pretty much i had concluded that she hated me). then last night she said she didnt remember who i was (yes!) and we got along swimmingly. being back ive noticed a few things. staying where im staying im constantly taking the #20 bus and its quite a change from my clean, polite japan. but, im appreciating it in a new way. and getting frustrated because i feel like i can never do anything to make these people's lives better. i keep questioning myself to figure out if i should have a role in helping these people and making their lives better. or if that should even be where my thinking is headed. i mean, travelling through the poorest postal code in the country has given me some perspective on why i like japan so much, and has left me agreeing with my mother (for the umpteenth time): i like japan because it's different.

other new thing that ive noticed somewhat goes along with a comment some friends made on tuesday. the conversation goes something like this:

me: (after i noticed i was being stared at by friends) "what?"
friend 1 speaking for him and friend 2: "we were just saying how you went to japan a girl and came back a woman." (enter loving stare).
me: [groan]

the point is, and i know its so narcissistic of me, but ive caught two stupid cute "indie" boys checking me out in the last 24 hours! what's going on? this has never happened before. im in total shock. maybe im just delirious. last night i slept from 11pm-2am and then stayed up until 6:30am and was woken up at 7am. not even watching hp and the prisoner of azkaban could make me sleep. or day/night dreaming (okay fantasizing about beautiful boy in japan could make me sleep, or comfortable enough to want to sleep). i mean, who thought time differences were a good idea? where the fuck are my two functioning suns? bastards! off to get me a job, er, i mean, suck some cock, yeah, that's it. (pictures soon!)