TBT: Day 0 - 90

My whole feminist life I've been pretty anti-weight loss (RIOTS NOT DIETS!) as a coping mechanism for dealing with pressure from family ("have you gained weight".. and those "You're gonna die from being so fat glances") or from doctors ("the reason you're sick is because you're fat" when that was actually not the case) and because western patriarchal ideas of what a woman should look like, eat, and have sex like are so permeating in "our" culture that I feel like I'm coopted any time I think about "losing weight" or "watching what I eat". even the rhetoric around healthy lifestyle is an exhaustive discourse. man, sometimes i kind of wish I didn't have graduate education in systems of power and oppression!! gah!

I got really excited about the Roller Derby challenge and started early with the Rated PG Roller Girls and have been 90% true to my workouts (even when I was injured, I just modified them) and only about 50% committed to the diet. On January 1st I committed to becoming vegan which in this little stump town is a lot of work (not too easy to run out and get a good vegan anything for any reasonable price, or even at all, let alone being able to pick up some tempeh on the fly for a sandwich...) and trying to stay on top of work and derby and blah blah, let alone the dishes has been exhausting. And then trying to find time to work out? Also exhausting. But, you know what? I've been doing it and I feel awesome. From January 3rd - yesterday I've lost a total of 5lbs, without consciously "trying" to lose weight. Since last summer when we started the Alberni Valley Roller Girls I've lost a total of 25lbs. As of yesterday I weigh 281.5 lbs. My goal weight has always been 200lbs-220lbs and that's a long way to go. I have no goal weight for this challenge just 1. do the challenge as faithfully as possible and 2. blog about it everyday. Thank you to my derby heroes Frida and Tef for giving me some impetus to get this going. (My measurements will be another day, I can't find any tapes!!! I have like 10 tapes!! wtf!)

Frida talked to us about the Total Body Transformation (LOVE the cheesy name) and it's absolutely doable! yay!

What I ate today (guh, committed to this challenge after I downed all the food):
1 cup oats/unsweetened coconut/pepitas/sunflower seeds/blackberries/blueberries w/ 2 tsp agave
1/4 cup coconut vanilla yoghurt
16oz soy matcha latte with 2 pumps peppermint (sbux)
6 corn taco chips (plain)
1/2 cup white rice
1/4 cup tofu plain
1 cup beans and squash w/ nihon sauce
1/2 c. gomae
1 oreo (vegan heaven)
snickers (guh, reminds me of cher's self hatred in clueless)
16 oz peach, spinach, happy planet juice, coconut yoghurt, almond milk smoothie with hemp hearts
veggie burger on brown bun with vegan condiments and tomato and spinach and daiya cheddar
vegan pasta salad (1/2 ww noodles)
vegan brownie with oreo baked inside (i will savour this as my last sugar for the next 90 days!!!)
1/2 cup vegan smashed chickpea salad (ala everybody like's sandwiches) on half ww bun with sriracha
3 litres of water
1 cup tea

Exercises (doing these as soon as I get off the computer)
10 leg drops
10 each side cross crunches
10 low leg scissors
10 each side supermans
rest 30 seconds
REPEAT 5 TIMES repeat three times.. kid up late needs to go to bed, pout...

good luck me!!


Mountain Girl said...

The media certainly floods us with what we should be, but like that means anything to you. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE? A number on the scale is an arbitrary statement. What do you want your body to be able to do that it can't do now? How do you want to feel about your body? Answer those questions and then commit. And tell your friends how they can help you. Love you so much.

Eden Oliver said...

I love you too! Wow, you're awesome. Just, so awesome. Also, every time I see a scale I feel uncomfortable because I feel like it is a symbol of oppression and I'm always worried that if I use it I'm going to be swept into a whirlwind of patriarchal self-body judgment. Like actually. I normally don't even know what I weigh because of this. Eating well and exercising has been less problematic for me in this regard (like, I don't feel bad about myself with this stuff, I just generally want my body to feel better and healthier and I'm motivated by this), but thinking about how I look in clothes or what my weight or waist size is wigs me out every time.